Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

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Dear Paddy

(04/16/21 3:00pm)

DEAR PADDY: My girlfriend dumped me. She said I was always spending time with “the boys” and that I didn’t devote enough time to her. Apparently buying her juuls and White Claws wasn’t enough for her. She never understood that an online game can’t just be paused!