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Patrick’s final Headline Dump, the end of an era

Senior prank goes wrong, 5 TMS seniors charged with arson 

Oxford Knolls retirement home sues Miami University for using term “Senior Day” at athletic events, mistaking it for an event to honor senior citizens 

Patrick Sullivan shatters records with 26 failed talking stages, zero relationships in 4 years of college

Professor who scheduled an exam on GBD sued for student abuse and negligence

ROTC kids attacks Farmer School of Business mistaking it for Russian Secret Service, the FSB

Make it Miami tour guide stunned to find out that ‘The Seal’ does actually get stepped on

OPINION: Spring Break should be renamed Post-Winter Anti-Fix 

8/10 gingers agree that classes the week before Spring Break are more of a ‘suggestion’

Student search parties begin to find four-leaf clovers in preparation for Thursday and Friday midterms

Survey finds that texts from parents were 72% more likely to be ignored following the publishing of Midterm Grades

39% of singles say they expect at least 3 new DMs after posting their Spring Break photos on Instagram

Big-Little reveal goes wrong, 20-yard trip-wire gets in the way

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FACT: Siri was listening to you when you told your roommate about your ex