Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

Humor


Let them eat lemon bars

 Despite all of the unpleasantries that my tumultuous freshman year at Miami entailed (online classes, political strife, getting hand sanitizer in my eyes when I’d go to wipe away my tears), there was one thing that always made my day just a little better: the dining hall desserts.  


Latest stories

HUMOR

A Day in the Life of My Heros

 Though I have no friends, I have been at Miami for about two years now. Looking at some other types of people on campus, here is my best estimation of their daily lives.  


HUMOR

Dear Ohio Weather

 Dear Ohio Weather, I’m writing to tell you that I’m afraid we are through. I cannot bear to have my heart toyed with any longer. 


HUMOR

Got Hugs?

 According to the World Health Organization, most humans require at least 10 hugs a day to function normally. However, COVID-19 isolation protocols make it near impossible for people to fulfill their daily hug intake.  


HUMOR

Woman’s Love-Life Ruined by Quarantine, Seeks Advice on How to Break Up

  I’m sure you’ve all felt it. As we near a year of pandemic living, we’re feeling a little crazy. Even the most level-headed among us aren’t immune to this sentiment; case-in-point, many newspapers have recently had to pull some of Jeanne “Dear Abby” Phillips’ columns for what they have called “frankly bonkers” advice. But here at The Miami Student, we have managed to gain access to one of these pulled columns and published it here for your entertainment.


HUMOR

Revamping Miami Traditions

 The traditions at Miami confuse me. To make them better, I encourage His Highness, Mr. Greg Crawford, to read carefully through my suggested edits to current Miami traditions and decide which of these options to implement in his next agenda as his current agenda of creating a diverse and inclusive environment is failing. 


HUMOR

What women really want

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I’m here to tell you that women are so over the basic, gushy, lovey-dovey crap that goes on every year. As a woman myself (hold the applause), I feel not only inclined, but entitled to give you some tips and tricks for success in the upcoming season of love.   


Miami Student Newsletter

Receive the Miami Student direct to your inbox!