A Christmas Carol: Miami Edition
(12/02/22 4:00pm)
‘Twas the night before Christmas…
Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies
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‘Twas the night before Christmas…
In my almost three semesters at Miami University, I cannot help but notice the overwhelming cliquiness of our campus culture.
Hell is Real People Cancel Thanksgiving Claiming “ALL TURKEYS GO TO HELL”
If you did not already know, our founding fathers had a time machine they used to help win the American Revolution. In the testing stages, they sent Thomas Jefferson back to the future to learn about the outcome of the war. Unfortunately, he landed in present day Oxford, Ohio.
Thanksgiving meals can be incredibly boring. Holding a conversation with family members you didn’t even know you had is always incredibly difficult. But fortunately, I am here. These are the best topics to bring up at Thanksgiving dinner.
Parents Find the Entire Cartel Hidden in Kid’s Halloween Candy
With the coming of Halloween only days away, it is only fitting that the scariest places on Miami’s campus are identified. You need to know the locations to avoid when the goblins and ghouls come out to play.
Aramark Somehow Manages To Make Dining Halls Food Taste Worse Than Last Year
Despite being 7-27-2 last year, there are many things to be hopeful for this hockey season. The Redhawks played half of their games against top-10 teams last season, and they were tied or ahead in 20 of those games by the time the third period rolled around.
Due to the popularization of the term, “Let’s Go Brandon,” Brandon’s worldwide have been feeling the impact of this phrase.
Post Malone Claims He Is “Better Now” After Being Discharged from the Hospital Due to Broken Ribs
Miami University takes pride in the many unique student organizations it has to offer. If you are interested in getting involved with some of these organizations, read some of the club descriptions so you can get involved.
Miami Dining Assumes That Students Don't Eat Food On Labor Day, Closes Dining Halls at 4:30 p.m.
My unsuccessful attempts at finding the answer to “What Do Girls Look for In a Guy?” last semester took a toll on me. To cope with the sadness of failure, I found myself in the place where all men cope with failure or rejection, the gym (or jim if you prefer). I managed to store my feelings in my muscles, finding beauty and purpose chasing, “the pump.”
Why Dining Hall Food Is Giving Everyone The Shits
Amount of Disc Golfers Inhabiting Oxford Sparks Controversy Among Community
Dear Incoming Freshman Class,
It would be unfair to my female comrades not to publish a sister article to “What do Girls Look For in a Guy?” I am positive the answer to “What do Guys Look For in a Girl?” remains elusive for countless women at Miami.
Miami Sets Aside $10,000 to Combat the Smell of Perfume and Starbucks Wreaking Havoc on the Shriver Center
Finding the answer to this question proves to be especially difficult for college-aged men like myself. Countless generations of men have sought the answer, and only a select few, such as, but not limited to, Tom Holland, Cristiano Ronaldo or Greg Crawford have figured out the answer to this enigma.