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Headline Dump With a Picture

Why Dining Hall Food Is Giving Everyone The Shits

Hydroflasks Being Dropped Reported as Number 1 Cause of Class Disruptions at Miami In 2022

Opinion: Water Has Taste

Mark Zuckerberg Threatens To Shut Down Instagram If He Sees Another Woman Put  Harry Styles On Their Story

Frat Boys Need Reminded That Flip Flops Are Only Meant For Wearing in the Shower, Not to Class

Losing Your Virginity in the Kofenya Bathroom Doesn’t Count Claims Local Woman

Freshman Girl Almost Gets Throat Slit by Upperclassman for Calling New Bar, “The Woods”

Oxford’s Water Found To Contain 13.67% Acid, Explains Why Water Tastes So Bad And Why Local Residents Be Trippin

Associated Student Government Requests More Funding Despite No One Knowing What The Hell ASG Actually Does

Miami Hires 6 Full Time Mental Health Employees, Students Still Prefer To Talk About Their Issues on YikYak

Reposting Taylor Swift's New Album Cover On Your Instagram Story Adds A Year To Your Life 

Man Arrested Last Weekend At Brick Street Speaks Out Saying, “Things Can Only Go Up From Here.”

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Freshman Girl Earns Nickname “Sniffs” After Going On A Spree Of Sniffing Random People

Another Variant of the ‘Frat Flu’ Cases Rising, Especially Among Freshman Girls

Freshman Finance Major Breaks Record for Most Times Telling a Girl His Major in 5 Minutes, with 27

New Tradition? Student Seen Puking on the Miami Turtles