If you did not already know, our founding fathers had a time machine they used to help win the American Revolution. In the testing stages, they sent Thomas Jefferson back to the future to learn about the outcome of the war. Unfortunately, he landed in present day Oxford Ohio.
Looking for a significant other for the holiday season? These pickup lines are guaranteed to get you your Miami Merger!
Prepare yourself for the spookiest headlines of the year
Are you scared of sprinklers? Does the fire alarm go off constantly in your dorm? Enjoy this true, definitely-not-hilarious news report with breaking news on the subject.
With the coming of Halloween only days away, it is only fitting that the scariest places on Miami’s campus are identified. You need to know the locations to avoid when the goblins and ghouls come out to play.
What is it that makes one liners so funny?
For Miami Students, Extreme Jaywalking is as common of a pastime as shitposting on Yik Yak. It’s no secret we love to do this, but why is that? I’m determined to find a slightly less-than-acceptable answer.
"Underclassmen: worried about getting caught by the OPD? Worry no longer."
Due to the popularization of the term, “Let’s Go Brandon,” Brandons worldwide have been feeling the impact of this phrase. Have you spoken to Brandon recently? If not, no need to fear. The Miami Student reporting team recently spoke to a few Brandons who had various feelings on the rise of “Let's Go Brandon.”
Here are all the questions you’ve always wanted to ask your gator-wrangling Floridian friend, answered by TMS’s resident Floridian — everything from alligators to Florida Man.
Fake News Headlines Are The Best Thing Since The Invention of the Pop-Tart
Breaking News: Humor Editor writes another funny “Headline Dump”, Surprises Nobody
After reading these descriptions, you would be a fool not to join a student organization.
There is nothing more masculine than watching grown men fight each other over an oddly shaped ball.
Is being called Sniffs a bad thing? Are you tired of Seeing Harry Styles and Taylor Swift on Instagram Stories? New Miami Tradition? Is this the best Headline Dump to date?
Are you tired of looking for love with no avail? Then do we have the help for you!
Daring Journalist, Teddy Johnson, takes a second attempt at figuring out, “What Do Girls Look For in A Guy?”
First Headline Dump of the Semester!
Do or Do Not...There is No Try
Another age old question finally revealed! Daring Humor Editor sends a secret agent into the wild of Miami’s campus to find the answer to one of life’s most burning questions.