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The Nigerian Nightmare

Chris Rule, Senior Staff Writer

The nickname "the Nigerian nightmare" conjures, for many Miami University fans, images of former RedHawk football player Terna Nande destroying opposing offenses.

For Terna and his brother, current RedHawk team member Tersee, the "Nigerian nightmare" is what they want to wake up from - the situation that has kept them from seeing their mother for the last 17 years.

Terna was 6 years old and Tersee was 4 years old the last time they hugged their mother, Veronica. Both understood that they were going to be separated from her. Neither thought it would last this long.

David and Veronica Nande were in the United States on student visas when a death in Veronica's family caused her to return to Nigeria for the funeral. Terna, Tersee and their older sister Dooshima all accompanied their mother for the trip. On their return home, complications arose regarding the visas and Veronica and Dooshima, who was not a U.S. citizen, were forced to stay.

"My dad thinks the reason they stopped my mom was because her student visa was almost up and they were afraid she wouldn't come back to Nigeria (and live in the U.S. illegally)," Terna said. "My parents agreed that my brother and I would have a better life if we went back with my dad to the U.S."

Although traumatic, Tersee doesn't remember the departure because he was too young.

Terna, however, recalls it all too well.

"I have these memories embedded in my head," Terna said.

In order to make visits to Nigeria more amusing, David would pack suitcases full of toys for the kids to take on their trips. This time, when she was forced to stay, Veronica used the toys as an incentive for the boys to visit her later.

"The night before we were going to board the plane, my mom sat me down and talked to me because I was the oldest," Terna said. "My dad had the briefcase full of toys and she told me to come back to her and I would be able to play with them again. I remember her crying as she told me this."

Although the boys knew the situation was serious, reality hadn't settled in.

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"I thought it was a temporary thing, that I was going to visit my dad for awhile and my mom would be back with us soon," Terna said.

Instead, the brothers grew up with only their father. David worked to support the two growing boys and tried to give them the loving home they needed. The financial stress of being a single parent in America, however, trickled down to Terna and Tersee and the boys worked to take whatever pressure they could off their father.

As much as possible, their aunt Julie and the rest of the extended family tried to fill the void of the boys' missing family.

"On holidays they would always let us come and spend it with them," Tersee said. "They would look out for us and treat us as if we were their own kids."

Yet despite family help, the pain still remained - the boys missed their mother.

"I missed out on a lot," Terna said, "like just having a motherly figure there to tell you right from wrong. Just her being there to hug you and hold you when things are wrong, to experience everything I have been through. I feel like she missed out, that I missed out."

Tersee agrees.

"I always regret the fact that she could never actually see me grow up, see what I accomplished, see how I've turned out," Tersee said.

The boys also worried constantly about their family's safety. Nigeria in the 1990s was fraught with political unrest, civilian violence and poverty. Terna said they continuously prayed for his mother and sister's well-being.

However, while growing up the boys saw little progress in their family's return to America. David had attempted to fight the U.S. and Nigerian embassies for years to bring his wife and daughter back to America, but was always given excuses.

"The question was would we have the financial stability to take care of my mother and sister if they lived here?" Tersee said. "It throws me off a little, because we do and she would have the opportunity to work here because she has a pretty high level of education, as does my sister."

However, with Terna's new contract with the Tennessee Titans, the family has been given some clout in speeding up the process.

"Now that I have been able to play professional ball, we have had senators give us more information that we need," Terna said. "But we are still a work in progress."

With the help of the government, the Nandes are on their way to obtaining the correct information, documentation and enough money to bring their family home.

Yet the distance between families, that time has caused, may outweigh the distance between countries.

"I don't know exactly how my sister and mother are like," Tersee said. "I'm pretty sure it will be sort of an awkward to be around them at first, but I still love them. It will probably be an emotional experience, but I just know it will be a good thing."

Just like any bad dream, the relief comes from waking up. Terna, Tersee and their father David all hope that that moment comes soon.