My goodbyes to Miami
By Grant Tasseff | April 13, 2021As I face my final month at Miami, I must make my parting goodbyes to the university that now has my entire life savings.
As I face my final month at Miami, I must make my parting goodbyes to the university that now has my entire life savings.
As the honey bee population in the United States continues to decline, biologist Dr. Bob Anderson believes the answer to the mystery may lie in a well-loved childhood game. In a recent journal article, Dr. Anderson stated the most likely cause of the pollinator’s disappearance is a spirited game of hide-and-go-seek.
According to the World Health Organization, most humans require at least 10 hugs a day to function normally. However, COVID-19 isolation protocols make it near impossible for people to fulfill their daily hug intake.
A blue and white patterned statue that kind of looks like a big ol’ ding-a-ling on Miami’s North Quad has sparked speculation about its meaning on Oxford campus.
I’m sure you’ve all felt it. As we near a year of pandemic living, we’re feeling a little crazy. Even the most level-headed among us aren’t immune to this sentiment; case-in-point, many newspapers have recently had to pull some of Jeanne “Dear Abby” Phillips’ columns for what they have called “frankly bonkers” advice. But here at The Miami Student, we have managed to gain access to one of these pulled columns and published it here for your entertainment.
The traditions at Miami confuse me. To make them better, I encourage His Highness, Mr. Greg Crawford, to read carefully through my suggested edits to current Miami traditions and decide which of these options to implement in his next agenda as his current agenda of creating a diverse and inclusive environment is failing.
Recent anger and tension between majors has caused a “major war” where students band together in scholarly groups to destroy each other.
Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I’m here to tell you that women are so over the basic, gushy, lovey-dovey crap that goes on every year. As a woman myself (hold the applause), I feel not only inclined, but entitled to give you some tips and tricks for success in the upcoming season of love.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I feel more lonely than usual.
Like many students, I took advantage of Miami’s insanely long winter break by traveling. My friend, Mark, raves about his home state of Minnesota any chance he gets, so visiting him was the obvious choice.
The results of collegiate entrepreneurial ingenuity are blazing across Oxford. Cast-iron pans, skillets, dutch ovens and griddles TH-seasoned with rare Colorado oil are the hottest product on the block.
Students received Mandatory POUND cards after completing COVID-19 tests upon arrival to the Oxford campus. The controversial new section of Miami’s Healthy Together plan includes a punch card for each student that tracks any and all sexual encounters between their random COVID-19 tests.
We've all seen the off-campus flags hanging in nearly every college house in Oxford. But what is their purpose?
On my 21st birthday, I got drunk and flirted with a DoorDash driver who then ran me over with his car.
Just a few miles from our lovely campus, a dangerous landfill continues to grow in both size and in its potential to cause disaster.
When it comes to being the Greatest Sibling Ever, Patrick Sullivan takes the award. Not only did he drive his sister home after she had a wild night, he also let her throw up in his car.
It has come to the attention of The Miami Student that many students have lost items on Miami’s campus in the past few weeks. We, therefore, take it upon ourselves to publish a list of these items in hopes that someone locates them.
Your roommate looks for love, and these are the women he meets on his journey.
Spoiler alert: he dumped me at my sister's wedding where I was the maid of honor and he had a seat with me at the bridal party table. 10/10 would recommend.
Miami University really needs to step up its advertising game. It needs to be a little more realistic on what you, as an incoming freshman, should expect.