Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

Humor


HUMOR

Got Hugs?

 According to the World Health Organization, most humans require at least 10 hugs a day to function normally. However, COVID-19 isolation protocols make it near impossible for people to fulfill their daily hug intake.  


HUMOR

Woman’s Love-Life Ruined by Quarantine, Seeks Advice on How to Break Up

  I’m sure you’ve all felt it. As we near a year of pandemic living, we’re feeling a little crazy. Even the most level-headed among us aren’t immune to this sentiment; case-in-point, many newspapers have recently had to pull some of Jeanne “Dear Abby” Phillips’ columns for what they have called “frankly bonkers” advice. But here at The Miami Student, we have managed to gain access to one of these pulled columns and published it here for your entertainment.


HUMOR

Revamping Miami Traditions

 The traditions at Miami confuse me. To make them better, I encourage His Highness, Mr. Greg Crawford, to read carefully through my suggested edits to current Miami traditions and decide which of these options to implement in his next agenda as his current agenda of creating a diverse and inclusive environment is failing. 


HUMOR

What women really want

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I’m here to tell you that women are so over the basic, gushy, lovey-dovey crap that goes on every year. As a woman myself (hold the applause), I feel not only inclined, but entitled to give you some tips and tricks for success in the upcoming season of love.   


HUMOR

Pot Pan sales hit record highs

The results of collegiate entrepreneurial ingenuity are blazing across Oxford. Cast-iron pans, skillets, dutch ovens and griddles TH-seasoned with rare Colorado oil are the hottest product on the block.  


HUMOR

Eruption Imminent

Just a few miles from our lovely campus, a dangerous landfill continues to grow in both size and in its potential to cause  disaster.


HUMOR

Greatest Sibling Alive

When it comes to being the Greatest Sibling Ever, Patrick Sullivan takes the award. Not only did he drive his sister home after she had a wild night, he also let her throw up in his car.


HUMOR

Lost and Found

 It has come to the attention of The Miami Student that many students have lost items on Miami’s campus in the past few weeks. We, therefore, take it upon ourselves to publish a list of these items in hopes that someone locates them. 


HUMOR

I'm a single lady

Spoiler alert: he dumped me at my sister's wedding where I was the maid of honor and he had a seat with me at the bridal party table. 10/10 would recommend.


Trending

Miami Student Newsletter

Receive the Miami Student direct to your inbox!