Family weekend can be scary, but with some of these tips, hopefully you can survive with minimal trauma.
Just your run-of-the-mill headlines!
Have you spent the past few weeks lying awake in your twin XL bed wondering if you peaked in high school? Asking yourself why the girls in your hall aren’t on their knees begging to wait 30 minutes for dining hall pizza with you? Never fear: after spending weeks undercover in the class of 2025, I have collected all the tips and tricks necessary to become the coolest freshman on campus.
Yeah, breakups are hard, but interactions with exes can be fun, right?
Though I have no friends, I have been at Miami for about two years now. Looking at some other types of people on campus, here is my best estimation of their daily lives.
Dear Ohio Weather, I’m writing to tell you that I’m afraid we are through. I cannot bear to have my heart toyed with any longer.
As my freshman year ends, I become a sophomore, or a “wise fool.” Allow me to impart some of my newfound wisdom.
As I face my final month at Miami, I must make my parting goodbyes to the university that now has my entire life savings.
As the honey bee population in the United States continues to decline, biologist Dr. Bob Anderson believes the answer to the mystery may lie in a well-loved childhood game. In a recent journal article, Dr. Anderson stated the most likely cause of the pollinator’s disappearance is a spirited game of hide-and-go-seek.
According to the World Health Organization, most humans require at least 10 hugs a day to function normally. However, COVID-19 isolation protocols make it near impossible for people to fulfill their daily hug intake.
A blue and white patterned statue that kind of looks like a big ol’ ding-a-ling on Miami’s North Quad has sparked speculation about its meaning on Oxford campus.
I’m sure you’ve all felt it. As we near a year of pandemic living, we’re feeling a little crazy. Even the most level-headed among us aren’t immune to this sentiment; case-in-point, many newspapers have recently had to pull some of Jeanne “Dear Abby” Phillips’ columns for what they have called “frankly bonkers” advice. But here at The Miami Student, we have managed to gain access to one of these pulled columns and published it here for your entertainment.
The traditions at Miami confuse me. To make them better, I encourage His Highness, Mr. Greg Crawford, to read carefully through my suggested edits to current Miami traditions and decide which of these options to implement in his next agenda as his current agenda of creating a diverse and inclusive environment is failing.
Recent anger and tension between majors has caused a “major war” where students band together in scholarly groups to destroy each other.
Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I’m here to tell you that women are so over the basic, gushy, lovey-dovey crap that goes on every year. As a woman myself (hold the applause), I feel not only inclined, but entitled to give you some tips and tricks for success in the upcoming season of love.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I feel more lonely than usual.
Like many students, I took advantage of Miami’s insanely long winter break by traveling. My friend, Mark, raves about his home state of Minnesota any chance he gets, so visiting him was the obvious choice.
The results of collegiate entrepreneurial ingenuity are blazing across Oxford. Cast-iron pans, skillets, dutch ovens and griddles TH-seasoned with rare Colorado oil are the hottest product on the block.
Students received Mandatory POUND cards after completing COVID-19 tests upon arrival to the Oxford campus. The controversial new section of Miami’s Healthy Together plan includes a punch card for each student that tracks any and all sexual encounters between their random COVID-19 tests.