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This is the story of a very real event that happened. When Carley Rapp the first (world-renowned Harvard Student) visited Miami University: THE Public Ivy. Here are her leaked written excerpts:
I’ve been thinking long and hard about a burning question: If I were to be granted a wish, which superpowers would I want to gain? I’ve been thinking long and hard. In lectures when I was supposed to be taking notes. In the shower. And, in the place where all of my good ideas come together (IYKYK).
In 2003, about 28% of American adults read in their free time. Just two decades later, that number drastically dropped to 16%, according to a study from iScience. This is a decrease of over 40%. As these numbers continue to decline, Americans are letting so many essential skills slip away.
08/25/2025: First day of class
Let's face it. Life is expensive, especially at the old age of 13. Eventually, the cash in Mom’s wallet disappeared, and I needed to fund my gas station snack obsession. So, I did the unthinkable. I got a job. At a pizzeria, no less.
To completely understand my desire to write for the humor section of The Miami Student, I have to give you some background information. If you’re wondering where my impeccable sense of humor came from, this article is for you.
I was warned about a lot of college rites of passage before the start of my first year. The fire alarm that goes off at 3 a.m. because someone put a fork in the microwave. The freshman 15. The awkward half-smile you give every time you see the girl you sat next to on the first day of class but never speak to again.
When Maddy Jones, a first-year kinesiology major, started to disagree with the boy she was interested in over politics, she ghosted him.
You’re probably wondering: Carley, how did you find time to write this on top of your 50 homework assignments due tonight? And to answer that question, I’d say that I have twice as much time in a day as the average person.