You’re probably wondering: Carley, how did you find time to write this on top of your 50 homework assignments due tonight? And to answer that question, I’d say that I have twice as much time in a day as the average person.
Actually, I don’t. But boy, wouldn’t that be nice? In order to be successful as a pre-med student, I have some tips to help you embark on your lifelong journey through schooling.
Preparation
First things first: you’re going to want to make sure you have a Keurig that can make enough coffee to fill a swimming pool. If you don’t decide to drink the coffee, the pool could be useful to drown yourself in after chem lab. The fact that I’m considering such a thing after three weeks tells you how challenging it is to get through (the first) four years.
As a personal tip, I love telling people I’m a biology major on the pre-med track to make it seem like I’m smarter than I really am. It usually helps distract them from asking me if I have any idea what I’m doing. I don’t. Just be sure to have pre-med written on your forehead so that you always remember why you have no will to live.
Work later, play first
Don’t forget that textbooks cost hundreds—so if you only have 50 bucks, just spend it at Brick Street.. If you’re really in the trenches, you can always count on the business majors to be at Brick, even if it's a Tuesday at 6p.m. Just meet them there! Honestly, you’ll learn more about how the body processes alcohol from a trip Uptown than from those lanky textbooks anyway.
Workload
Being a student on the pre-med track means you have to be willing to give up any hobbies you have—like breathing or sleeping (actually, check that on sleeping). Don’t fret if you run out of time to hit the gym because crying over your lab report should be enough cardio for the day.
Expect FOMO to be your worst enemy. It’s hard when your friends ask you to join them somewhere, but you can’t because you need to spend time figuring out how to cure cancer. Most students go Uptown on Fridays, but my only plans are to go UP to the second floor of Pearson Hall. Are we the losers, or are they? (Don’t answer that.)
Second-guessing yourself
Most importantly, make sure you have a backup major in mind. After you take your first organic chemistry exam, you might need to start introducing yourself as a dropout instead of a pre-med student.
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If you don’t understand a topic from lecture, you can always count on someone to hit you with the “Don’t worry, that class is a weed-out. It’s meant to be hard.” It’s always great to know you’re taking classes that are literally designed for you to fail. Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you text a friend and ask for their tips on how to actually weed out.
It’ll be worth it
Just remember, you’re really only doing this so that you can prepare for your future career as a professional people-poker.
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