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Twas the night before bid day

‘Twas the night before bid day, and all through the night,

Many girls were nervous, so they got high as a kite;

Each one was scared and they could not see through, 

The fact that no one cares what sorority you get into;

This did not stop each girl from creating a stir,

So much so recruitment week felt like a blur;

Countless conversations with recruiters blend together,

“Can anyone help me be liked better?”;

To get them to like you, is all about looks, 

Not your GPA or how well you hit the books;

All through the week girls have gone through such hell,

But this isn’t actually hazing, unless you do tell;

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Many who are blonde decided to rush APhi,

“It’s a top sorority,” yeah, we’ll see;

Perfume and makeup and spray tan a galore,

Makes everyone question Greek life even more;

Sisterhood and philanthropy is the true purpose,

But now it seems like finding new friends to purchase;

“What sorority wants me, I really need to know?”

“As soon as I get my bid, I’ll change my insta bio.”

These are some things, a PC may say,

Hopefully tomorrow they’ll get a bid on bid day.

While girls were in Armstrong doing interviews;

The boys were all Uptown drinking lots of booze,

At the bars, the guy to girl ratio was like 50 to 1,

My goodness this week just needs to be done. 

John Daly saw the boys, sang Dixieland Delight;

So many dudes at bars, thought there’d be a fight. 

When all the girls are gone frat boys are quite sad,

This week got them all really down bad;

So what do they turn to to cheer up their mood,

Bars and bar fights and barbells and bar food;`

Where’s APhi? Where’s G Phi? Where’s Chi O? Where’s Phi Mu?

I think rush week in Uptown is a bit of a sausage fest, don’t you?

Roll Brick Street, Roll Chanks, Roll 1868,

Rush week is the week the boys really hate.

john1595@miamioh.edu