Back to school dump

Man earns nickname “The Rizzler” after getting 37 women to buy him drinks this weekend

“Bed Bug” found in King Library turns out to be a student who was studying in the library for the entirety of J-Term

First-year girl goes deaf after listening to too many sorority chants during rush week

Opinion: Greek life orgs are cults in disguise

Sheer number of fire alarms going off in residence halls leads to student boycott of mac and cheese cups

Stanley Cups double as weapons to throw at that idiot kid in your FYIC group

Social Commentary: AI drawings freak me out

Miami dining halls think adding ice cream machines will distract from the poor quality food options

Record number of breakups in weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day

Opinion: People who studied over J-Term won’t shut up about it

Rumors are circulating that the Crawfords will be spending Valentine’s Day at Brick

Scientists are working on new AI created girlfriends; single men everywhere rejoice

Miami hockey team now forcing first-years to enter a draft after losing 0-8 to North Dakota

Brick Street’s under 21 cover now rivaling that of Miami’s in-state tuition

Brick is now denying the underage hockey players after going 2-18-2 in the early season

Studies show women value humor in men less; maybe that's why both humor editors are single

Opinion: your class crush isn't cute, you're just lonely

ASG creates initiative to match future Miami mergers; approval rating rises to 100%

Breaking News! Clueless classmate finally admits they have “no idea what’s going on”

First-year student discovers that you can’t actually leave if your professor is 15 minutes late

Fraternity pledge describes himself as “sexy,” wonders why he got 30 bids

Fresh new TikTok trend involves actually showing up to your classes for once

Nobody cares why the chicken crossed the road