New Year, New You? If you already gave up on your New Year’s resolutions, here are some more ideas for the most ambitious Miami students to work on this semester.
Use meal swipes instead of using all your declining dollars in the first 2 weeks back
Show up to your 8:30 classes
Go to class on Green Beer Day
Go to class … in general
Stay sober for more than one day in a row
Pee in the bathroom instead of on the Sundial turtles
Water the sidewalks so the sprinklers don’t have to
Eat the food you made at home instead of paying for an overpriced bagel
Ladies — walk home instead of laying on the ground when you are drunk
Gentlemen — stop pouring beers down your pants
Athletes —Listen to Kendrick Lamar when he says, “Sit Down. Be Humble.”
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Go to church (of Chanks)
Trim the bushes on campus instead of jumping in them
No caffeine after 10 p.m. because you do need to sleep
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