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Pickup lines to use this weekend

Are you Miami University? Because I want to love and honor you.

Knock Knock. “Who’s there?” Irish. “Irish who?” Irish you’d let me take you out.

Are you from Tennessee? “Because I’m the only 10 you see?” Nah, you’re a hard 6, but I needed to break the ice. 

Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.

Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?

They call me Gaslight because I’ll have you feeling guilty for our entire relationship.

Is your name Herpes? Because you seem like something I won’t be able to get rid of.

Are you a toilet? Because I want to fall asleep on you tonight.

What do you call a super-funny single person who fears commitment? Me, nice to meet you. 

They call me Rapid Fired. Because I’ll satisfy you in a very timely manner.

Do you believe in love at first sight? No? *turn 360 degrees* How about at second sight?

What’s the difference between my bedroom and the Oxford Police Station? You’ll actually enjoy being handcuffed in my bedroom.

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They call me Jimmy John’s because I’m freaky fast!

Are you a McDonald’s ice cream machine? Because you look like you’re going to get my hopes up only to break my heart.

Are you a Brick Street trashcan? Because you look like a mistake I’ll gladly make.

They call me Skipper’s. I’m not your first choice, but at least you’re not going home empty handed.

Are you the Pulley Diner line? Because I’d like to take it slow with you.


sulli293@miamioh.edu