I am not smart enough to rule the world — though, it's important to note that I was planning to. I did not walk into my high school guidance counselor's office, crumple up the state-school brochures, and proclaim I wanted to be a dictator, but I liked having the option. Tragically, this backup plan was crushed when I read Theo Baker’s “How to Rule the World.”
My mother strong-armed this book into my life, proclaiming I would identify with the author.
Like any 19-year-old, I ignored this recommendation, creating a multi-month argument with my parent for no apparent reason. I finally made it around to reading the book between my busy summer schedule of rewatching trashy TV and staring at a wall, only to immediately read that the author I was supposed to be so similar to was a self-described nerd. Thanks, Mom; love you too.
I went into the book with absolutely no context, because I refused to read the jacket as a form of protest. The worst part of the book was… I actually liked it. Not just liked; I loved it to the point I became one of those pretentious people who bring a hard-cover book to appointments, coffee shops, even a tennis match. I was just waiting for someone to ask those magic words, "What are you reading?” What had become of me? The last book I read had watercolor rabbits on the cover. They say drugs are a gateway to a life of disaster; I argue this book set me on a worse track… I was a reader!
You may be asking yourself, “Wow, for a book review I have no clue what this book is actually about.” Well, that's why this article is in the humor section, and why I have not been promoted to culture. I am far too self-centered for ethical journalism. Which, ironically, is what the book is about.
Theo Baker was the student journalist who broke the story that led to Stanford President Marc Tessier-Lavigne's resignation. Baker published “How to Rule the World,” documenting the investigative process that exposed Lavigne's falsified scientific reports and uncovered the toxic symbiotic relationship between Stanford's elite students and Silicon Valley's aggressive venture capitalists.
His investigative journalism earned him the George Polk Award, making him the youngest recipient ever at just 18. I would like to take a moment for that to sink in. He was only a freshman. When I was a freshman, I was just trying to figure out how to do my laundry. I was definitely not cracking the core of our nation's problems with capitalism. I mean, it was on my to-do list, but I just never got around to it.
If, for some reason, you are reading this, Theo Baker, I mean, why wouldn't you be? I'm positive The Miami Student has a national foothold. Just know, the high-achieving STEM parents of the world (my mother) see you as their surrogate successful child when their kid decides to go down the dark path of wanting to be a comedian.
I could go more in-depth on the book's discussion of the intricacies of venture capital in the tech industry and Big Pharma, but I honestly was not smart enough to understand it all and would probably get sued for libel. I will say, to all the young people trying to find their place morally, intellectually, and socially: “How to Rule the World” is an incredibly motivating story urging Gen Z to go past their societal constraints to achieve their goals while striving to create a better, more truthful world. And to President Crawford, don’t worry, I am definitely not clever enough to be an investigative journalist!
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