Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

Dear Ohio Weather

Dear Ohio Weather,

I’m writing to tell you that I’m afraid we are through. I cannot bear to have my heart toyed with any longer. 

When we were younger, you were so very predictable, and I liked that about you. You could be cold for awhile, but you would always warm up eventually, and you’d stay that way for most of the year. But somewhere around ten years into our relationship, things started heating up. Gone was your cold winter solitude and in its place, an angry hot summer. 

But I adjusted. I told myself people can change, we’d find a new groove. But we didn’t. 

Now I can never know what to expect from you. Some days, you’re warming back up to me, and the next day you’re as cold as ice, with no explanation for why. Your constantly changing mood keeps my hair raised … because I dressed for yesterday’s 70 degree weather, when today is in the low 20s. 

I thought that maybe this was just a phase, and that we could get through this; that maybe after a year or two we could find some sense of stability, and maybe even settle into a routine again. But now I’ve come to see that will never be, so I am sorry, but I must end things between us. I wish you well, but I must say goodbye now.

An Ohio Resident