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Problematic parental problems

I would just like to start this off by saying that I love my parents – so much. 

But, I am going to scream into a pillow. 

When I first moved into my dad’s house for the remainder of the semester, I was fine with it. I didn’t mind being secluded from the world as it was going to force me to focus on my schoolwork. 

However, after almost two months, I am beginning to revert back to my early teen years and avoiding my parents. 

My parents are divorced and don’t speak to each other. Having to repeat everything twice is already annoying enough as it is, but it seems like every hour, one of them is checking up on me. 

I really hate saying that I hate it because I realize some people don’t have parents to check up on them, but I am at my wit’s end. 

There isn’t anything to talk about! I am still just as busy as I was at school and I don’t really have time to squeeze in quality time with either of them. 

And, due to quarantine, I can’t go visit my mom because I’m at my dad’s house and don’t want to break the guidelines just to make sure I’m equally dividing my time. 

In the wise words of Kourtney Kardashian, there’s people that are dying.

I distinctly remember the week before my freshman year of college, my mom held me in her arms and said “Everything is going to be different now when you come home.” And at the time, I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I didn’t realize how I was transitioning into a new part of my life.

A part of my life that involved not being around my parents. A part that I didn’t realize I would enjoy so much. I find myself believing our six-week winter break is a curse rather than a blessing. 

I also feel that while I am reverting back to my high school self, my parents are reverting back to being a parent to a high school student. 

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I am a sophomore in college, so why is my father checking in to see if I’m doing my homework? 

Back up, please. If I don’t want to read for my class, you telling me to read only makes me want to do it less. And again, I feel like I’m a 15-year-old for having this mentality.

I have repeated my work and class schedule to my parents several times, but has that stopped my mother from FaceTiming me in the middle of  lecture? No. 

My father has made it a point to tell me that I can’t use the oven or the stove. I am about to be 20 years old.

I get that they’re concerned about me. I understand. I appreciate it. However as the late, great comedian George Carlin said in his last stand-up before his death “If you’re worried about your children, leave them the fuck alone.”

Everyone reaches that point in their adolescence where being around your parents makes your skin crawl, not because you don’t love them but because you need your space. 

That space created by going to college or moving out creates the transition in the relationship with your parents. You need to be away from them to miss them, and then you find yourself wanting to come back. 

However I am now reminded why my parents got divorced and my family split apart. We are all not meant to live together in any capacity for a long period of time. It doesn’t work. It never has – it never will. 

Again, I love my parents so much and appreciate everything they have done for me. When it comes to the fall and moving into my apartment, my father has assured me that they will offer me avenues to cancel my lease if we go online for the semester.

I’m sure they will. Will I even want to do that? The thought of staying at home until next spring….makes my right eye twitch. 

Alone time is crucial and important for my sanity, and it’s hard to come by when you’re living at home. 

I need to live like an adult and stop being treated like a child. 

kwiatkdm@miamioh.edu

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