Holy Week has once again passed us. I found myself going to church the most this week than I have maybe in an entire year. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was that yearning for an absolution. Regardless, I sat in a pew and listened to the stories that have lasted through centuries of time. And these stories are still valid explanations to how we feel, why we choose to shut down and whom we choose to hurt.
I suppose because it is the end of the year, everyone has a bucket list of things they want to accomplish before they leave next year … unless they're leaving for good.
On Good Friday, the priest gave a sermon that was particularly moving. It stemmed from the "Passions" Christ endured before he bowed his head and died. As he was being condemned for death, he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," referring to the shouting crowd persecuting him. And as he died — for those who turned away from him — he did forgive.
This year, there have been those moments and hardships with friends, family and those close to us that we cannot seem to let go.
Even if it's something petty and stupid, holding a grudge seems easier than confronting the person you love and respect and saying "I'm sorry."
Your personal mantras may differ from the person you care most about, but one thing holds true: regardless of who's hurt you or how they've hurt you, forgiveness is forgiveness. Forgiveness may produce different results or change relationships around, but it stands alone. It works the same way: to push you beyond the trivial fights and to make you stronger.
It's a habitual act that asks us to look beyond the things that make us feel down about ourselves because of another person's unkind action. It takes strength to apologize. It takes strength to accept the apology. But if this mutual exchange doesn't happen, you can say goodbye to some people this year that could have made an impact.
Make these last two weeks count. Go out there and be better people to those who you care about. If you come across one of those trivial moments, try to come to an agreement. Compromise. But don't necessarily "forgive and forget." Forgetting should never be the goal.
Maya Angelou once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
And that's where forgiveness comes in; once you see that humility in another person, you can forgive. You can empathize and accept their, "I'm sorry," because you know that until you forgive, you don't know how free it feels on your soul and on your heart.
Forgiveness lets us move on. So as we move on into our summers, whether we're graduating or not; value the relationships you have. Fix the ones you've broken. Because once you do whatever it takes, it's quite simple: you cannot fail if you don't give up.
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