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Back to school shopping: what to know

My credentials

I am going back to school shopping for the 14th year in a row now, and this year I’m doing it without my mother. Despite this, I think I have a pretty good idea of what to do. Also, I have done a lot of research on my trusty search engine, TikTok. They seem to have some consistent advice that isn’t sponsored or biased at all. I wrote this story to share some with you.

Most important thing to bring to college

As soon as my screen loaded from the search, “What to bring to college,” I saw 10 videos that were almost identical. 

“You must have this to survive college! Without it, I think my grades would have been in the dumps.” 

“Woozoo fans are so COOL!” “I am such a big FAN!” 

Naturally, I carried my interest to Amazon, only to find these gadgets are double the price of my functioning decade-old box fan. This fan must really blow people away.

What else is cool

We can’t breeze through fashion, so let’s step into the world of shoes. I purchased some new kicks just yesterday on sale at a grocery store. Of course, I called three friends to verify they are still trending for the upcoming school year. To which one replied “I think my grandpa has those!” Okay, well can he strut them like me? 

The shoes you pick are important, since you will be walking to class and picking up gum off the Brick Street Bar dance floor with them. Just make sure that if your mom is with you, she feels for your toe in them and makes you walk across the aisle with one shoe on. Very important.

Sch**l supplies

We’ve now come to the most boring part of back-to-school shopping and are now closer to to an answer for the age-old question, “What school supplies do you need at the collegiate level?” 

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The short answer: basically none. I have enough free pens for me and my intermediate family to be set for life. I will never have to buy a writing utensil again with how many free pens I have received in my first two semesters. The only thing you’ll really HAVE to buy is books, and if I start talking about that, my bank account  might shed a tear..

Sorry for being dry

I’d like to apologize for being dry in the last section. I feel as if being dry is sometimes needed. Speaking of, for the love of everything good, BUY AN UMBRELLA. The first time I saw rainfall at Miami, I think my joy fell down faster than the rain itself. The amount of people I saw without an umbrella made me feel blue. So in my brainstorming of what everyone needs at Miami, I had to sprinkle some weather protection in there.

Cough cough

Stay away from raindrops and go towards cough drops. Seriously, I am sick of hearing hacking while trying to learn about the Krebs Cycle. Don’t forget to bring some medication to school because syllabus week is just the start of the nine-week long headache (Dear future employer: I love school. This is a joke). 

Also, if you do happen to leave your Nyquil at home, make sure you bring your ID  with you in an attempt to buy more at Walmart. I made the mistake of forgetting mine and was therefore unable to purchase my very disgusting cherry flavored cough medicine. . I guess if you’re under the age of 18 they just feed you to the squirrels instead of letting you buy medication at the grocery store.

You’ll be okay

All this scary talk and cherry-picking is just for fun. As long as you have a name brand fan, you will be fine. Legend has it that if your fan is off-brand, you will fail your next exam.

jenninbd@miamioh.edu

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