I, Eliza Sullivan, have a clear vision for the future of this university (no, it doesn’t get any better). As such, I have decided to share my visions with each of you so that you can best prepare for the days ahead.
Emerson
If recent events (not that recent but I refuse to forget … I’m looking at you Spooky Sex) are any indication, things will be heating up for residents of Emerson Hall. This week is a good time to pursue romantic relationships. Rekindle that situationship you just got over. Who knows, maybe this time they’ll actually want you.
Hillcrest
With Mercury in Sagittarius, this month will herald a newfound understanding of microwaves. Fewer people will forget to put the water in their mac and cheese and fewer fire alarms will go off at 3 a.m. Catch up on sleep in the coming weeks; you deserve it.
Morris
Take this time to appreciate what you have. Spend time with loved ones, make new friends and stop complaining about how “musty” your dorm is. The stars indicate that it’s really not that bad.
Havighurst
After a truly boisterous Halloweekend, bad omens abound. Drink some orange juice and get plenty of sleep to ward off frat flu. Invest in close friendships – don’t just snap those people you added and forgot about this weekend.
Peabody
Fate will smile upon you soon. All semester, you’ve been walking fifteen minutes minimum to class, and the universe will reward you. Look out for 8 a.m. classes being cancelled, people giving out free Celsius and extra credit points.
Ogden
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Try getting out of your comfort zone. There’s no way you’re not tired of Bell food yet – that burrito bowl is not that good. Consider walking to a new dining hall or cooking your own food in the dorm kitchen, rather than just popping downstairs for yet another fried chicken sandwich.
All of Sorority Quad
Nature will call for you to continue showing your love for the trees (it shouldn’t end on Halloween). Take your most recent frat situationship on a walk through Peffer Park to become one with your surroundings. You might even find a new pair of Uggs among the beauty.
Withrow Hall
Grab a cup of coffee somewhere other than Starbucks … PLEASE (and support a local business like Kofenya while you’re at it). While it is cool that a Miami alum is running the company that is making you the most broke, you could share the love (and maybe even change up your order).
sullivei@miamioh.edu
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