As we get settled into the semester, my fears have shifted. Coming back, I was afraid of the typical senior spookies: how challenging my class would be, waking up after a wild Wednesday night and the creepy noises coming from the top floor of my house. But now that I’ve established a bit of routine, I’ve unlocked a new stressor - forgetting people’s names.
This isn’t as big of a problem as a senior, as I now have my one (and only one) friend in each class that I sit next to. However, I remember the days of being a freshman and forgetting the names of everyone who wasn’t my class crush. Luckily, I’m the smoothest person around, and you can be too if you follow these tips.
Scenario 1: The person you sit next to in class
This happens to the best of us. Heck, I’ve even forgotten people’s names in classes where we have name tags. My go-to talking point will depend on what class we are in for the week. If it's the first class, I’ll ask the person how many standard drinks and Skyline coneys they consumed that weekend. If it's the second class of the week, I will loudly ask them what they got on the homework before loudly proclaiming that I got a 67.69% on the homework (which is what I was trying to do).
Then, if it's a dude, I’ll ask them why they forgot to put deodorant on this morning; if it’s the huzz, then I’ll ask what uh um ah… and then run away.
Well, that would be true if I ever had the courage to sit next to a beautiful woman… which we know I don’t. And then, mercifully, the professor will inevitably pull up the presentation for the day, at which point I realize I’m in the wrong class (I haven’t figured out a trick for when you forget room numbers yet).
Scenario 2: You forget your professor’s name
I take pride in the fact that I have only remembered three or four of my professor’s names. Why? Because calling them doctor as a default is such a great idea. If they have a doctorate, then that is the correct title, and they’ll want you to think they’re important. If they aren’t a doctor, then they will be flattered that you think they are smart and determined enough to get a doctorate. It's a win-win. However, if your professor insists on you calling them by their first name, this gets a little challenging. I don’t care that once we get our $100,000 piece of paper, we will have the right to call everyone by their first names. We don’t have that paper now. Don’t make me remember your name, GREG! Some people might say I’m being disrespectful; however, it's more disrespectful to assume I care to actually learn something from my professor, particularly their name.
Scenario 3: You’re RA on a Friday Night
I don’t know why you expected to give you an out here - if you forget your RA’s name after a looonngggg (wink wink) night out, you deserve to get in some sort of trouble. But, at least you aren’t getting in trouble for that fake ID you have hiding in your back pocket!