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Navigating college as a mother

My baby just turned one.

It’s been a crazy year, from her learning her name to her learning that bikes won’t kill her to teaching her that peeing on the floor isn’t acceptable.

I should probably mention that my baby is a dog — a beagle, to be exact. And like all mothers, I firmly believe that my child is the cutest to ever exist.

Yes, I’m one of those white women that refers to her dog as her child. Yes, I know it’s cringe, and no, I don’t care. Once you raise a puppy from eight weeks old to adulthood all on your own, your opinion will matter to me.

It’s literally like having an infant.

My college life has changed quite a bit since I’ve become a mother. My partying days are behind me (I barely had any to begin with), and I can no longer randomly decide to spend $50 on Furbys or Littlest Pet Shops. I have another mouth to feed; I have to put bread (or kibble) on the table.

But I’ve accepted my fate. This is motherhood. “I have to get back to Trixie,” has basically become my catchphrase.

My life revolves around this other being. Am I going to the store? Do I need to go get my mail? I guess I better get Trixie around, because she simply has to come with me.

Hell, she’s even started coming to the newsroom with me. Every Wednesday is now bring your daughter to work day for me.

I could be having the best sleep — the “honk shoo mimimi” kind, if you will — but guess what? It’s 2 a.m., and someone has to go potty. Time to roll out of bed and get outside, even if it’s pouring rain.

Like most babies, mine attempts to put everything in her mouth, which sometimes results in an upset stomach and a nice pile of vomit. Sorry, professor, but I can’t come to class today. My daughter is sick, and I’m too paranoid to leave her alone after the time I came back to my apartment and she shat all over in her crate.

Maybe I’m doing homework and she’s becoming antsy from not having my attention. No problem, I’ll turn on “Total Drama Island” for her — it’s her equivalent to “Cocomelon.” If that doesn’t work, I suppose I’ll stop what I’m doing to try and get her to settle for a nap.

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Is she getting a little stinky? My apartment doesn’t have a tub, so I guess I’ll just have to put her in the shower with me. Don’t tell me you never showered with your mom when you were younger.

If we’re going somewhere, I have to make sure she’s dressed to the nines. Good thing I have several cute bandanas to put her in. Don’t worry, I dress her for the weather, too. She has a coat for cold days, and booties for rainy days.

And, like every other modern-day mother, of course I run an Instagram account for my child. She’s my little content creator in the making, and I’m proud to wear the momager badge. Once she’s 21 in dog years, she’ll have to start paying rent, so I’m making sure she has a strong work ethic now.

Despite all of the trials and tribulations, being a mom is worth it. Sure, I may have had to completely change the way I live, but it’s not too bad, especially when your child is as adorable and sweet as mine.

Motherhood has taught me responsibility and, most importantly, that I could never handle an actual, human child.