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Spring break Oklahoma Drills we NEED to see

The Oklahoma Drill — America’s last true test of grit and strength. 

Allow me to explain for those of you who aren’t as athletically inclined as I am (I had a full ride to play quarterback here. Of course that was before the injury). The Oklahoma Drill pits one offensive player against one defensive player. 

The idea of the drill revolves around hitting your opponent as hard as you possibly can in an attempt to either score or prevent a touchdown. Or more importantly, diminish your opponent’s self-worth.

These drills are also incredibly popular on spring break trips, as people seem to get smarter and tougher while drunk. Unfortunately, today’s football players are incredibly soft and no longer want to collide head-on with another mammoth-sized man while running at high speeds.

But, that hasn’t stopped me from dreaming up some dream Oklahoma Drill matchups. 

While this isn’t an exhaustive list, here are some matchups I would like to see. 

Swoop the RedHawk vs. Rufus the Bobcat

Ever watch one of those videos of mascots steamrolling peewee football teams? Well, if you’re a fan of these videos (as I am), then this matchup would be a treat. We all know mascots can easily stiff-arm little Timmy into the dirt, but how would they fare against each other?

While I find watching these mascots disgracing the families of small children to be hilarious, they need some fair competition. This would also be a great opportunity for Miami University to continue its domination over Ohio University. Not only are we the better party school, but we have the most-dominant mascot in the nation. 

Bowser vs. Shrek

I’ve wanted to see this matchup since my childhood. Some may argue that we have already seen this matchup because WWE exists. I still think we should give some respect to the big guys in the trenches. These two characters represent pure power and strength. 

They truly embody the spirit of the Oklahoma Drill. I hope to see this matchup in person so I can experience the earthquake that occurs when these two buttheads. 

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Can Shrek keep Bowser out of his swamp or will he bow before Bowser? 

Two Black Friday Shoppers

Everyone knows that fighting over the right to buy a 75% off TV serves as the true starting point of the holidays. Black Friday is the greatest holiday in American history and brings out the best in people. We’ve all seen and thoroughly enjoyed the viral videos of shoppers fighting over a refrigerator or a children’s toy. If the right deal is at stake, we could get the most intense matchup on this list. Plus, we would get the added benefit of holiday spirit (December’s only 8 months away, but who’s counting?).

Brick Bouncer vs. Any Drunk Frat Boy

This matchup earned a high amount of requests from fans and would be some good ol’ fashioned family fun. While not necessarily an even matchup, it would still be wildly entertaining to watch. 

The lines at Brick can be incredibly long and boring, so Brick can do us a favor and provide some free entertainment. There would be no shortage of contenders for the bouncer to take on. 

Plus, these events would be additional content that the university would be incredibly proud to see on social media. Who cares about ‘Makeout Monday” when you can watch Brad get creamed as Father Weisman watches on. 

oviattcc@miamioh.edu


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