Miami University students were bombarded with the influx of admitted students and their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, third, fourth, and seventh cousins to campus over the last week. Patrons of Maplestreet Commons watched in horror on Monday as three hundred guests armed with red lanyards and “Brick and Ivy” bags descended in the middle of the lunch rush.
Guests gushed about campus.
“It’s so gorgeous here. All of the buildings look the same, and most of the vomit has been cleaned off of the sidewalks since Saturday,” an admitted student’s grandmother said to The Miami Student.
A mother, standing on the corner of High Street and Poplar Street at 5 p.m., asked a reporter from The Student, “Do you think they’ll let me into the Brick? They might think my ID is fake, who would believe I’m forty nine?”
With the Campus Climate Survey occurring recently, the question arises– what does the outside world think of Miami?
“This place is awful,” one man said, storming out of Armstrong Student Center with his family trailing behind him.
The Student decided to poll a selection of people with no direct connection to the university to gather information about the perception of Miami.
“Miami University, that is a wonderful place. A Public Ivy! A Place for Those Who Will! Love and Honor!” Said exactly zero participants.
Roughly 23% of participants praised the beach access and local Cuban cuisine. Oxford residents may find this statistic confusing, but it can be clarified by the 64% of participants believing that Miami University was in Miami, Florida. Coincidentally, 2% believed Oxford to be located in England.
Among the participants that were aware that Miami University is located in Oxford, Ohio, some were aware of Oxford’s infamous bar. This bar is, of course, known to anyone over the age of thirty that are trying to be cool as “the Brick.” Almost 49% of these very cool and fun people worried that alcoholism prevented students from focusing on their schoolwork.
Following the completion of this survey, The Student decided to survey the families that had attended programs for admitted students in the last year.
Of attendees, 87% of families claimed to be from Chicago, but were actually from surrounding areas up to three hours outside of the city.
Enjoy what you're reading?
Signup for our newsletter
Over 77% were deeply confused by the fact that the Western campus is on the Eastern side of the school; 90% did not set foot on the northern campus during their visit.
When it came to the dining halls, 65% reported liking the food, and 45% reported disliking the glares they received from students as they occupied every single table and did not stand in a single file line to get food. Good taste must not have been an admission factor.
After seeing “The most beautiful campus that ever there was” plastered on signs all across campus, 35% googled Robert Frost. Approximately 67% marveled at the quality of the buildings that they visited– which included Armstrong Student Center, Farmer School of Business, Pearson Hall, The Rec, and Maplestreet Commons.
The tour did not include many of the other academic buildings, but one student asked to visit the History department in Upham Hall. He noted that it looked like the basement of his middle school.
When asked whether or not she planned on attending the university, one of the polled students said that she did. She told The Student which dorm she would like to live in, saying that “My last name is on the building, so I wasn’t overly concerned about getting in.”