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Flags take on new purpose in off-campus housing

We’ve all seen the trendy flags hanging from windows in nearly every off-campus house here at Miami. This satire takes a trip into the minds of fictional students behind said flags.

After hammering in the final nail, an off-campus resident steps back, dusts off his hands and admires his work. “It’s perfect,” he says with a smile. Behold! Another window, transparent no longer. Curtains? Too expensive. Blinds? Too boring. Flags? Just right. 

From the Oxford streets, colorful flags bearing Greek letters can be seen hanging in the windows of off-campus houses. 

“It serves a dual purpose: it provides privacy while also letting people know we’re hot shit,” says one member of the house. “It really adds to the ambiance. Our colors are the same as Bud Light cans, so we have a solid color scheme going.” 

Another housemate notes that “when the light hits just right, our letters are projected onto the floor. It’s a sight to see.”

This trend has added a new layer to fraternity rivalries as brothers compete to display the most unique banner possible. We know how the most colorful male birds have an evolutionary advantage. Perhaps brothers believe that a colorful flag will impress the sorority girls across the street while making up for the tornado of a bedroom they’ll end up in. Pro tip: Flags are a great way to cover up the holes you punched in your drywall. 

Students outside of Greek life are also beginning to participate in this trend. It’s common to see flags bearing an occupant's favorite sports team or hometown.

Sometimes these flags are hung for purely aesthetic purposes, which can cause some confusion. One student with both Blackhawks and Cubs flags in his room is fed up with people asking if he’s from Chicago. “I’m actually from Nebraska. I don’t have to be a Chi-town native to be a fan.”

Whether your flag bears letters or not, anyone looking to participate in this trend should beware: Some Etsy shops have reported months-long back orders on various flag styles. Stock up while you still can. | @KendyPats

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