College-aged males across the country are buying into a new decorating phenomenon ripped right from the pages of Pottery Barn’s “Perpetually-Single Fun Uncle” line.
The trend, known as “hookup conversation pieces,” is a unique statement piece that an individual can use to show a potential hookup his personality, passion or how he is overall “not like other guys.” It can also be used to fill any pre-smash awkward silences.
Our staff was curious to see if the men of Oxford were a part of this trend. So, over the last month, reporter Molly Surette has recorded the hook up conversation pieces of Oxford, as well as the highlights of the conversations that came with them.
Here are some of her most special finds:
An Anderson Cooper bobblehead: “Every morning I ask him if I’m gonna have a good day, and he nods his head yes. It’s just like having one of the most trusted voices in America tell me I’m good.”
An authentic Samurai sword: “I won this in a bet. I don’t actually know how to use it.”
A copy of Twenty One Pilots’ album “Blurryface” on vinyl: “I know it sounds so pretentious, but the sound quality is seriously so much better on vinyl. I refuse to listen to this album any other way.”
A wall mount of a jackalope head: “I didn’t know they weren’t real until after I bought this.”
A personalized Harry Potter wand: “Pottermore said my Hogwarts house is Hufflepuff, which means I’m particularly good at finding things,” the individual said before winking at Surette.
A poster advertising Bumble: “Bumble actually mailed this to me personally. I was a brand ambassador for them for a couple years. Don’t worry, I don’t use it that much anymore.”
A piece of the Berlin wall: “History is, like, my jam.”
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An ant farm: “Sometimes, at night, I swear I can hear them digging in there.”
A framed photo of Quentin Tarantino (unsigned): “I always found Pulp Fiction posters to be very basic. They’re a shallow representation of a genius. But, Tarantino is one of my heroes so I felt I still had to pay homage to him somehow.”
A framed photo of Quentin Tarantino (signed): “Have you seen Pulp Fiction? It’s really good.”
A replica of “Washington Crossing the Delaware”: “For me, this represents perseverance. It reminds me to keep pursuing my dreams, to not be afraid of forging my own path and to trust my instinct. And I normally think art is boring, so that makes this all the more important to me.”
A jar of baby teeth: “Sorry, those are my grandbig’s. It’s a fraternity passdown thing.”
A copy of the Mueller report: “I used all my MuLaa on this, and the librarians at King had to refill the printer, like, seven times. I figured it was a small price to pay for such an important historical moment, you know?”
A tattoo gun: “I keep meaning to learn how to use this but never find the time.”
A perfect replica of the Crystal Skull from “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”: “I know it’s controversial, but I honestly thought the movie was pretty good.”