Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

Humor: Headline Dump 10/23

Cheese, cheese and more cheese minor coming to the College of Arts and Sciences

Revolutionary student takes shoes and socks off during poop in Armstrong bathroom

Freshman using empty Svedka bottle as dorm decor is so cool

Dog living in fraternity house slowly dying of malnourishment

Miami squirrel wishes professors would teach more classes outside, says finishing degree is 'taking forever'

Super senior blames the seal again for fourth failed exam

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Housemate passive-aggressively asks if you're making grilled cheese again

Local woman fears guy she's talking to is a film major

"Fuck it," says Miami Dining Hall Services before adding fried green beans to menu

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