Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

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Place your bets on Super Bowl LII

(01/30/18 10:00am)

As Miami welcomes the majority of its students back to campus this week, America will be celebrating perhaps her most significant unofficial national holiday: the Super Bowl. The grand spectacle features (usually) great football and (sometimes) the biggest names in entertainment. The commercials alone cause people who never watch football to throw parties, buy cheese trays and invite other people who don't watch football over to watch a football game. Every last dollar is squeezed out of a 60 minute game stretched to last four hours.


Made-Up Mailbag: Week 6

(10/31/17 9:00am)

Welcome to the latest installment of the Made-Up Mailbag, and happy Halloween. I wanted to give the mailbag a proper spooky theme this week, but I thought it might be too (candy) corny. While that hasn't stopped me so far with this column, believe me when I say this one would've ended up cornier than Kansas in August. I settled on the admittedly weak compromise of using the word scary a bunch and sprinkling in a few more themed (but still bad) puns.






Made-Up Mailbag

(09/12/17 9:00am)

Welcome to the first installment of the Made-Up Mailbag. Normally, mailbags are written because they're an easy way to repeatedly cover a topic, and the author can sit back, relax and let the ideas roll in -- all the while bragging about how engaged his or her readers are. With the "Made-Up Mailbag," I brag anyway and save my hardworking readers the trouble of topic generation, so join me each week as I respond to questions of questionable origin.



NFL Combine winners and losers

(03/14/17 1:39am)

This past weekend the 2017 NFL Scouting Combine took place in Indianapolis. Three-hundred and thirty prospects accepted the invite to undergo extensive medical testing and hours of interviews featuring legendarily stupid questions. While sleep deprived, they hoped to impress 31 General Managers. Washington GM Scot McCloughan was conspicuously absent, but I'm not here to talk about that organisation's top-to-bottom dysfunction. I'm here to give you my takes (hopefully kept at room temperature) on the weekend's winners and losers from every position group.


2017 NFL Scouting Combine: A Preview

(02/28/17 10:00am)

This week the NFL descends on Indianopolis, IN for what has been dubbed the "Underwear Olympics." Athletes will run through a gauntlet of events including the 40-yard dash, bench press, broad jump, 20-yard shuttle, Wonderlic test, positional drills and then interviews. Coaches and GMs will be watching the attendees' every move both on and off the field. The top prospects will be eager to impress in drills, tests and interviews. Reactions and overreactions will run rampant.