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Stillness in Sports Part I: How injury, faith and reflection changed Kyle Aucoin on and off the ice

Kyle Aucoin stands ready for game against the Western Michigan University Broncos on Feb. 6
Kyle Aucoin stands ready for game against the Western Michigan University Broncos on Feb. 6

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He knew it immediately. His shoulder was out of place.

Kyle Aucoin, former defenseman for the Harvard University Crimson hockey team, played his first eight games of the 2023-24 season the same as he had in any other year of his accomplished hockey career. But one play on Dec. 1 against the Clarkson University Golden Knights changed the trajectory of his hockey career.

After the initial incident, Aucoin left for the bench in pain and plopped down on the hard surface at the 3,000-seat Cheel Arena in Potsdam, NY, in front of where his family was sitting. By only what he could describe as a miracle, he felt his shoulder pop somewhat back into place. Thinking he could go on in the game, he took another shift, but the final blow occurred when a Clarkson player violently lifted Kyle’s stick and his shoulder popped back out.

In front of his family and friends, Aucoin left the ice and went down the tunnel. He did not return to the rink that season. Another year of his career was marred by injury, and he watched his teammates fight tooth and nail, helplessness creeping in day by day. But just as the sun comes out after a long rain, the one play changed the way he thought about life, his experiences and his mental health.

Ottawa, Ontario, is the capital city of our northern neighbors and home to plenty of important pieces of Canadian history. It’s the home of the country’s government, alongside numerous historical sites integral to the nation's identity. But it’s also a hotbed for hockey, Canada’s official winter sport and the home of Aucion, who played at Miami University.

The 23-year-old was raised in a hockey family. Kyle’s father, Adrian, also a defenseman, played for Boston University for one season in 1991-92 before being drafted by the Vancouver Canucks in the fifth round of the 1992 National Hockey League (NHL) Entry Draft. He began his professional career playing in the American Hockey League before having a consistent role in the Canucks lineups during the mid-’90s.

Following his stint in Vancouver, Adrian bounced around to different organizations, experiencing professional hockey all over the United States. His visits included the Tampa Bay Lightning, New York Islanders, Chicago Blackhawks, Calgary Flames and Phoenix Coyotes, before finishing his career in Ohio with the Columbus Blue Jackets. He amassed 1,108 games played, along with 399 career points before settling down in Chicago.

Adrian took Kyle under his wing on and off the ice, enrolling him in hockey alongside his two brothers, Cameron and Kaden, and sister, Alyssa. Along with his wife, Caroline, he also made sure Kyle maintained his grades and learned how to develop into a well-rounded person. Adrian’s mantra was always the same, no matter if it was short drives to local rinks or long car rides to different parts of the country: “Work hard and be polite.”

Kyle worked hard to follow in his father’s footsteps, playing at the Division I college level for four seasons at Harvard. How he arrived at Harvard, though, wasn’t any different from how young hockey recruits end up at any school, despite the prestigious achievements. And it was how he arrived there that began his years-long effort toward tranquility.

The Chicago Mission sported four colors on its shield-shaped crest. The primary is an almost-traffic-guard-vest green, with black and silver accents and a hint of gray on the flying puck logo. The Triple A youth program fields nine different boys teams aged 9 to 18, and their goal is, simply put:

“The Chicago Mission is dedicated to helping AAA-level hockey players realize their athletic dreams. We do so by offering the most comprehensive developmental program in North America with the best coaching, state-of-the-art NHL facilities for on and off-ice training, and proven academic and career guidance. The Chicago Mission coaching and management team aims to give our players the best Tier 1 AAA hockey experience.”

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Kyle first donned the bright green uniforms as a 14-year-old and wore them until age 16, playing across the country while focusing on his on-ice game and schoolwork at a handful of rinks in Chicago. While Kyle was succeeding in the classroom, his teams were also winning national championships in the triple-A ranks.

Eventually, Kyle found himself in an advantageous recruiting spot, with big-name programs knocking at his front door. He fell in love with Harvard University during his visit to Cambridge, Massachusetts. 

While being recruited by the Crimson and playing for the Mission, Kyle attended Hinsdale Central High School with a class of about 800 students. His general lifestyle at the mere age of 16 – balancing Triple A hockey, traveling around the country to play in tournaments, while also prioritizing the challenging work being assigned to him in the classroom – made Kyle feel prepared for what was to come at  an Ivy League institution.

On Oct. 1, 2018, Kyle officially committed to the Crimson, but there was one more stop he had to make before joining the college ranks: Junior hockey with the United States Hockey League’s (USHL) Tri-City Storm. 

Kyle would be sporting its colors for the next few years of his career after being selected in the third round (No. 35 overall) of the USHL Futures Draft. Soon, a journey to his new home of Kearney, Nebraska, would lead him to meet his future head coach at Miami, Anthony Noreen.

Kyle first joined the Storm in the 2018-19 season following the conclusion of his season with the Mission. He played in just seven games as an “affiliate player,” because he was 16 at the time. But in those seven games, Kyle was not only thrilled by the prospect of junior hockey. They also prepared himself for what was to come against older, faster, stronger opponents. 

“It was one of the best experiences of my life,” he said.

In the 2019-20 season, his first full taste of junior hockey, Kyle played 48 games and scored 18 points. He knew what his role was and he stuck to it. As a result, he was selected by the Detroit Red Wings in the sixth round of the National Hockey League Draft. He said it was one of the happiest days of his life as he celebrated with his family, including his father Adrian, who led  him down the hockey path at the very beginning. 

There was bound to be a journey down from the peak of the mountain. Instead of a long-winded expedition with stops to look at the scenery and a feeling of pride for what had been accomplished to this point, it was more like an extended tumble with nowhere to stop and breathe on the way down.

Before the 2020-21 season, despite being a staple of the Storm’s defense and a newly NHL-drafted player, not everything was sunshine and rainbows. The nagging injury wasn’t enough to put him too far behind his teammates for the start of the year, but it was enough for him to keep it in the front of his mind while trying to recover and move on from it.

Soon, Kyle’s team living situation became undesirable, and issues with his defense coach boiled over during practices and games, resulting in a handful of screaming matches that weren’t healthy for any coach-player relationship. These constant jousts on and off the ice continued sending him into a spiral that would only grow. 

Stress in his situation mounted day by day. Kyle, despite being a self-proclaimed “naive kid with no idea where to look or who to talk to about his issues,” felt something was off. He came to the rink every day with a weight on his shoulders, bogged down by how much longer these issues would persist and if there was a way out.

“I felt like a lost dog,” Kyle said. “I know these coaches wanted to help me and understand me, and I couldn’t voice how I was feeling. I didn’t know how. I loved my teammates, and the last thing I wanted to do was leave. And I was also thinking to myself, ‘Is the grass even greener on the other side?’”

After conversations with his father, the Red Wings organization, his agent and other outside sources, Kyle was presented with options and made a decision. He knew he couldn’t go back on it. Once the words came out of his mouth, there was no other way to go. 

Despite Noreen pushing him to make conversation and imploring him to come to him for advice throughout this time with Tri-City, the homesick and frustrated 18-year-old walked into his office and knew he had to pull the plug on his time there.

He requested a trade.

middleje@miamioh.edu

@jjmid04

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