How do I write something that I can’t even articulate in my own head? How do I leave something I’ve dedicated my last four years to?
Like most staffers at The Miami Student will say, ever since stepping into the newsroom the first week of my first year, I immediately got attached.
I got attached to the people whom I looked up to (who inevitably left me), like my editors Alice Momany and Sean Scott, who I still talk to to this day, because why would I ever want to stop?
I got attached to my writers and will miss receiving their frantic calls about stories and what happens if a source ghosts them. I think I’ll miss the one-on-ones the most, though, because that’s where I got to know them personally.
I got attached to, as Managing Editor Anna Reier would put it, the “bestest friends” I’ve made in The Student. You know who you are.
I didn’t get attached to the anxiety that came with the newspaper, though.
I hope after graduation, I don’t take the self-doubt, self-criticism and imposter syndrome with me, no matter how hard it will be.
I remember stepping into my new role as editor and dreading going to meetings, editing stories or giving advice to my writers, because how was I at all qualified for this? I don’t belong here, and, in my head, everyone agreed. Nothing ever felt good enough.
Those draining thoughts stayed with me for years.
Throughout my time at the paper, I’ve had two main goals: do whatever I can to make my section the best it can be and to make sure nobody ever has the same thoughts I’ve had about myself and my worth.
Going from writer to Campus and Community (C&C) Editor allowed me to touch the lives of so many blossoming writers, and I took advantage of that. At every opportunity, I let my writers and fellow editors know how much they’re cherished in the paper, that every story matters and that they matter.
They’re not defined by the words that end up on The Miami Student website. They’re not defined by the number of edits they get on a story.
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There have been a few people who have helped me a lot with my confidence — Sean and Alice being two huge ones — but also past editors letting me vent to them and telling me I’m good enough and amazing at my job.
I guess something finally stuck, because my ego is huge now.
But what really meant the world to me were the little texts checking up on me, my writers responding to me with the funniest GIF, and most definitely the weekly productions where no topics were off the table, inducing laughs so loud the door had to be shut.
Basically, it’s all about the people.
I know for a fact I was able to push through the hard times because of Anna and Editor-in-Chief Olivia Patel. Anna wasn’t always the managing editor; she used to sit right next to me at the C&C girl boss table, where we spent many a night laughing, freaking out and talking about all things news. Anna — I think you’re crazy, but I nonetheless will miss your relentless drive.
Olivia has, to this day, encouraged me to be the best editor and journalist that I can be — helping me at my low points and knowing that all I needed was a push. Thank you.
Digital Media Editor Sarah Frosch, I’m not sure where I would be if I hadn’t dragged you to the newsroom because I was too scared to go alone our first year. Thank you for being my forever friend. And, to Parker Green, who may be in Luxembourg right now, but who will forever be in my heart — know you’re the best assistant C&C editor a girl could ask for, and the girl boss table will be awaiting your return.
Finally, I need to give my girl Shannon Mahoney the spotlight, because without her this past year, I would be a mess. She became my newspaper rock and reminded me that no, I don’t have to do it all myself, and asking for help is OK. Shannon, you’re going to do amazing things, and you’re going to use huge words to do it.
Nothing will ever top my experience in this organization. I have found purpose, I have found love and I have found an outlet for my passion for writing.
Looking back in 30 years, of course, I’ll have regrets, but joining this paper will not be one of them.
Taylor Stumbaugh is a senior double majoring in journalism and media and communication. She is the Campus and Community editor for The Student and a copy editor of The Miami Student Magazine. She’s also a Miami CAS Ambassador.
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