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Best Halloween costumes for short kings

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting me, you may not know that I am a member of Short King Nation. Rather than being ashamed of my diminutive stature, I lean into it, often for a cheap joke. The Halloween season is no different, as my most notorious costume was dressing up as Mike Wazowski (while my 6’1” 230lb. roommate was Sully). It was electric. 

However, I think that dressing up as Wazowski (and SpongeBob, and Danny Devito) is overdone. So, this year, I went on a deep search for the best costumes for those of us who live a little closer to the ground. 

Lord Farquaad and Napoleon

I’m putting these two guys in the same group. Before you yell at me, I KNOW Lord Farquaad is overdone. I don’t care. He’s my chosen character for this year, and my nickname in high school was Farquaad, so I feel as though I have the right to rep the man (plus my roommate is painting his body green to be Shrek, which will be a sight to behold). 

For those of you who want to be a little more unique, go with Napoleon. Not only does he represent the overcompensating that we all do, but being extra enough to dress up as Napoleon will show that you have a Napoleon complex. Nobody REALLY cares if you have an overdone costume (unless you go as the Lorax), plus arguing that you chose Napoleon for his bravery and success really shows that you aren’t confident. 

Just accept that short jokes are funny.

Yoda

For how cool Yoda is, I think he is criminally underrated as a Halloween costume. I’ve only seen one of two people rep the coolest green gent. Plus there are so many benefits with the costume. Yoda’s robe will keep you nice and warm as you frolic around Oxford during Halloweekend. 

Plus, you can tell the police that your slurred and grammatically incorrect speech is part of the bit for the costume. And, if you’re really committed, you could carry Yoda’s ID around with you - showing that you are, in fact, 900 years old and can legally purchase alcoholic beverages.

Christmas Elves

I just heard half of Oxford groan. Yes, I do agree that Christmas should not be discussed until after Thanksgiving. But being an Elf is a great symbol for the spirit of Halloween. Just like Christmas, Halloween comes once a year, and allows us to do/believe in things that don’t exist. For example, wearing an elf costume will be the only time that a girl above the height of 5’1” will come up to you in public and call you adorable. 

Halloween has also started to take a few pages out of Christmas’ book. On the spiritual front, Halloween is a weekend that is emblematic of the meaning of life (partying) for many college students. Many students embrace the meaning of all that is holy and make the pilgrimage to the temple of this town (Brick Street) to talk with their spiritual leader (Will Weisman) (or Ted Woods, if that’s what you believe. We don’t judge). Plus, that elf costume might be the only chance you dummies have of staying on the nice list after your weekend shenanigans.

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