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Death by theme party

My closet is packed, and my sinks each time I glance at the dreaded GroupMe message.

"Hey Ladies! Get yourselves ready for our Skiing at (insert literally any random mountain where it snows) Party! It's our biggest event of the year, so be sure to hit our slopes at 10:30 on Friday. 123 Fratdude Rd. at our main house. See you there."

How hard could it possibly be to think of just one original theme idea?

Apparently, extremely hard.

As young women, we shouldn't feel like we have to break the bank to buy oddly specific themed clothing. There are so many other things that our money could be better spent on -- like that sweater at Urban Outfitters that I've been eyeing for over a month, a concert ticket, a nice meal with the girls or my daily Starbucks addiction that isn't going anywhere and will forever be sucking my dollars away.

It's clear the lack of originality in party themes is an issue, the impracticality of buying clothes for one-time wear is the bigger problem.

We have to acknowledge that certain stores exist solely for, and profit off, girls who need to buy cheap clothes for 80s neon parties. Forever 21 makes oddly specific graphic tees that cost less than $10 for a reason. They know exactly what market they are tapping into, and they know that we'll keep coming back to their cheap gold chains and itchy leather pants for our "Jersey Shore" soirees.

The solution is this: Since fraternities have shown us time and again that they lack the ability to be creative, we have to take it upon ourselves to do just that.

Next time there is a jungle party -- probably this weekend -- opt to buy a cute cheetah-print top that you can easily pair with black jeans and some booties next weekend for just a cute night out. Better yet, next time you're invited to an 80s ski party, try and score a cute pair of workout leggings that will motivate you to get to the gym and make you look great while you do.

Another solution is embedded in one of the core lessons that kindergarten put us through: Sharing is caring, ladies.

We all know that we attend essentially the same five or six themed parties on rotation, so if you know that girl down the hall went to that Rock n' Roll party last Saturday and you have a Ladies of the 80s party coming up, ask her if you can borrow her ensemble. Women supporting women means helping each other not go broke, and sharing clothes will save us all from that angry call from mom asking us why there are $50 worth of disco accessories charged to her Amazon account.

The Panhellenic Greek community is all about bonding with your sisters, so let's put our money where our closets are and start stealing each other's clothes just like real sisters do.

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wolffrg@miamioh.edu

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