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Humor: Brick Street to begin to pre-urinating on their floors to help patrons feel more comfortable

As the sun sets on the calm Oxford skyline, employees at Brick Street Bar and Grill pull down their pants to begin their new "pre-pee" service, designed to make their customers feel more comfortable.

The floor will now be wet from corner to corner with urine so that every guest -- even early arrivals-- will get that classic Brick Street feel from the moment they step onto the moist, sticky floor.

"In the past, we've had to depend on our patrons to pee on the floors for us," said Mark Weissman, owner of Brick Street. "We decided to streamline this service by providing our own urine for our guests. We only want to provide the best bar experience at Brick."

Brick Street will have employees of all ethnicities, ages and genders urinating on the floor in order to promote diversity and inclusion and make everybody feel welcomed by the new initiative.

The most popular spots to pee -- the foot of the bar and the corners of the dance floor -- will also have backup "pee-pee" jars so that if the floor ever dries up, patrons can simply pour the pre-produced urine onto the floor so that they don't have to pee on it themselves.

Those who have VIP access to the bar will also be able to walk through the "pee and sweat mister," where they will be sprinkled with bodily fluids so that they can achieve the perfect Brick Street stickiness immediately upon entry.

"This is just the first of many innovations to come from Brick Street this year," said Weissman,"We can't divulge what we are working on right now, but we can tell you it has something to do with vomit, Long Island Iced Teas and a whole lotta strobe lights."

seriomp@miamioh.edu

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