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From peeing in public to stealing, student antics don’t go unnoticed by Oxford community

What do the locals have to say about us?

By Matt Arvizu,

Whether we're stealing bagels or getting in fights Uptown, Miami students seem to have a knack for finding new ways of getting themselves in trouble. While these tales of insobriety and absolute lunacy circulate through the student body like a virus, Oxford residents-of which there are over 22,000-see and hear about our antics as well.

Not surprisingly, those who work Friday or Saturday night shifts in the restaurants Uptown see their fair share of stupidity. Chris Jones, the owner of Oxford's Skyline Chili, recalled how just two Saturdays ago he "saw a student get in a little wresting match with a cop." Of all the people you could choose to fight, why a police officer?

Gary Franks, the owner of Bagel and Deli, found it particularly difficult thinking of the stupidest thing he had ever seen a Miami student do, but who can blame him?

He deals with "lots and lots of drunk people" being that Bagel and Deli is so popular with the late night crowd.

"I can tell you the weirdest thing I've seen this year though," Franks said. "So these two girls we're just so far gone. One of them passes out on that counter over there and I'm just like, 'you can't do that here.' So they walk out and they both pass out on that bench there. They were there for like an hour. Although, now that I think about it, once we did have one girl just pee in the middle of the floor with like 40 or 50 people around."

Franks isn't the only one to witness public urination. There's a certain taxi driver students call "Hagrid" (which is most likely due to his bodacious beard). While he respectfully declined to reveal anything too outrageous that has happened inside his cab-it's his belief that "what happens in the cab, stays in the cab"-he asked "which one do you want?" when asked if he had seen anybody publicly urinating. "The girl pissin' outside Jimmy Johns? Or the one that got arrested for pissin' outside by the dumpster at The Den?"

Come on, people, let's be considerate here and learn how to control our bladders. Good people like Hagrid have to clean up after us.

"I've had two people puke in my cab and another handful piss in it," Hagrid said. "When that happens I have to fine you one-hundred bucks and I lose about an hour of business cleaning it up. I lose money. Not to mention it's gross."

If we're drinking so much that we're puking or peeing on somebody's livelihood, perhaps we need to ask ourselves a few questions. When do our actions go from being humorous to harmful? How stupid is too stupid?

Ask yourself that before you finish "just one more cup."

Ironically, even with all this inappropriate vomiting and urinating, the people of Oxford still appreciate us. "The students are what make this town," Clyde Sparks, owner of some apartments on East Sycamore Street, declared.

Jones from Skyline agrees. "We love the students. We love being here for them," he said.

Whether they are selling us Coneys or bagels, or providing us with a place to live, or transportation when we need it, the people of this town are here for us. While they may find some of the ridiculous things we do to be funny, they really just want to see us succeed. Sparks put it best; when asked what one piece of advice he would give to the students he said that we should "learn as much as [we] can and do something with it."

We should take note, and remember why we are here, but it is hard to focus on what's important if we keep getting arrested for peeing in cabs or getting in fights with cops.