Established 1826 — Oldest College Newspaper West of the Alleghenies

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How to Not Get Caught by the OPD

(10/13/22 3:00pm)

On Sunday, Sept. 25, six Miami University students were arrested for underage drinking, and if I had to guess, all six were freshmen. It seems the post-COVID college newbies have no understanding of how to avoid mommy and daddy getting a phone call from OPD their second month on campus. Since, clearly, you freshmen do not know how to stay out of the back of a cop car, I feel like I need to impart some of my wisdom.










Dear Paddy

(04/16/21 3:00pm)

DEAR PADDY: My girlfriend dumped me. She said I was always spending time with “the boys” and that I didn’t devote enough time to her. Apparently buying her juuls and White Claws wasn’t enough for her. She never understood that an online game can’t just be paused!