Miami Student

Jobs have been eliminated across campus, yet the amount of money wasted on paper, water, and electricity would probably have saved more than one job.

I used to make fun of how you were so NOT CUTE at all to my friends. I used to be embarrassed for liking you, but now I think I'm falling in love with you.

I secretly wish I were a freshman again so I didn't have to graduate and leave this perfect place I have called home for four years.

I've hooked up in a academic building... and got caught! Lets just say I don't go visit that building much anymore.

My name is Pip, and I am a pippocrite. Please forgive me for my pippocracy, as well as my snarkination.

people always tell me i'm such a nice girl. i actually don't think i'm nice at all. i just hide it well.

Yesterday I pretended to be listening to my big on the phone. However, I put the phone on speaker phone, set it on the floor, and continued making out with the boy she was talking about.

I am a prime example of why penis size and brain capacity have no relevant connection to one another.

For the past twenty years I have not known my mother. I had no idea what her first name was or if she was even alive. That all changed last month when I received an email entitled, "my son??" Now, via email, I have learned that I have a little sister, that both of my parents had attempted to kidnap me from each other when I was a baby (from California to Texas to Ohio), and that the reason I have lived in eleven different houses was so my father could keep my address a secret from my mother. I talked to my mother for the first time in my life on April 12; her birthday. I will see her for the first time in twenty years (!) on May 1. The story goes on, but this seems like a sufficient enough secret for the Miami Student as is.

The football team's new coaches are very intense behind the scenes and should have the team mentally prepared to have a solid team. The coaches are doing their part, now its up to the players to get it done. Players have said they need this type of intensity.

I love you but I'm too scared to say it out loud.

Honestly, I don't give a shit about my grades or the internships or even the dream job I have lined up after college. It all won't matter if he's not there with me.

Your paper sucks. Oh wait thats not a secret

I pee in the soup at Shriver

I let my dog lick my genitals... all of the time.

I made out with my best friend's mom, and I'm a girl.

I always look for my boyfriend's ex's car and am obsessed with looking at picture of her on Facebook even though it hurts...

I'm 21 years old and am still attached to my two childhood cotton and fraying baby blankets. When my boyfriend sleeps over, I hide them in my scarf box.

i peed on the side of the CAB building... its the closest i'll ever get to pissing on the institution that has financially raped me.

i hooked up with my boyfriend in the basement of king on a saturday morning in front of a security camera. i hope someone was watching.
I unknowingly got on the Orange bus in anticipation of its taking me to Dittmer without realizing it was done with its rotation; the driver asked me where I was headed and took me anyway. This is one of the of the nicest gestures I've received in my time here, and she isn't even a student.

When I see a tour group on campus I start walking in their direction so that I can see and hear them longer. They make my day.

I think I'm becoming a liberal. But if my family ever knew, the doors of judgment would fly open and they would never see me the same way again.

If you only knew... But then again, you don't know, and probably never will. We were both too scared to talk.

I was never able to bring myself to press charges against the guy who sexually assaulted me because I couldn't get over the fact that he was one of my friends and not a stranger.

I wish I was African-American of Asian because the "white" culture is so boring and uninteresting.

I'm in love with my best friend, and he'll never know.

Going to this school has convinced me that the more money you have, the less concerned you are for the welfare of others.

So, I know that you are destined to marry the person you kiss under the Upham arch. But what happens when you "nail" her?

One morning I woke up hungover, with a receipt for two chicken Parmesan sandwiches that I don't remember eating...

I stole paper and buckets from the Office of Community Engagement and Service...that's like the opposite of what's supposed to happen.

I've had sex with international students from 5 different countries in the three years I've been at Miami.

Attending Miami has effectively turned me into an unintelligent alcoholic who has an eating disorder and sleeps around to get some sort of attention and affection. I feel I'm not alone in my habits.

I haven't written a 'real' paper since high school. I don't remember how.

I broke a wall in the C.P.A. Building

I love Miami!

It is a secret. I cannot tell you.

There's a professor at Miami who siphons school money into pet projects, personal dinners, and generally wasteful things. He's also dishonest and manipulative of students. He picks his victims carefully, so that he knows they'll never speak out. He goes so far as to make them work over 40 hours a week, take away their hard earned paychecks, trade scholarships for personal favors, withhold grades for further manipulation, make derogatory comments, etc. He thinks he's a big shot and lives above the law. I have no physical proof of any of this and the victims won't speak out, so I can't do anything about it.

Uptown if you stand in the center of the circle area of the water fountain area across from Qdoba and Coldstone, face the bank with your back facing Main St. If you speak, you can hear an echo. Its kinda cool, and fun to actually hear.
Every time I get sad I walk into Koffenya's bathroom and find a quote on the wall that gives me hope and reminds me why life is wonderful.

Hi, Sam. Because I love you, I have to leave you.

I stare down all of the girls on campus that I know have hooked up with my boyfriend. I can't help it! sluts.

margaret is communist

I cheated on every question, on every test, for a certain test. I got an A.

I broke up with my boyfriend because of his penis size.

I told everyone how you sexually assaulted me in the hallways in high school - and you did - and I made you seem like a terrible person. And I still make fun of you with my friends behind your back. But in reality, I consider you one of my best friends, and what you did to me, I LET you do. It's not your fault, Ben.

I'm not really gay.

i walked into the stanton hall basement study room to find a very drunk girl giving head to her a drunk boy... and they didn't even notice me

I ran into my best friend's car, I told him it was a crazy lady in the parking lot of a Chipotle, he sued her for it... and won

I'm a black girl and I only like to date white guys

i am in love with my boyfriend, he doesn't know.

My boyfriend has never given me an orgasm...we've been dating 6 months.

I act like a really confident, put together person but really I have no idea where my life is going or if it really going to amount to anything.

I really want to have a boyfriend for the first time!!! I want to experience having a boy friend! lol

I lost my virginity to a man who has had sex with over thirty women. And it wasn't even that good

I can't look you in the eye. You chose someone else.

I didnt last all of lent this year. I ended up jerking off one week into it.

I stole my roommate's neosporin and never gave it back.

I put bubble wrap in my roommates pillow case before I moved out. I wanted my presence to forever be known.

I have furnished my kitchen with dining hall silverware

i used to do coke in my dorm almost every weekend my freshman year and stay up until 10am, my grades were shit that year

I had sex with a guy I barely even knew, while my roommate was in the beside me.

I've been looking at gay porn since I was 13, but everyone thinks I'm straight. I can't bring myself to tell anyone or make a move on anyone - male or female. It sucks.

I've been a "girl" for 6 years now. I've been at Miami for 2 years and I've "been with" over 20 guys. See you out there.

When it comes to making decisions in my life, i often know the right one to make... but i make the wrong one, purposefully, just to keep it interesting.

I take things that I find lying around the dorm I live in.