Opinion | Women should be respected, willing to take care of others
Published: Thursday, August 30, 2012
Updated: Friday, August 31, 2012 00:08
Normally, I don’t like to rock the boat. Partly because I do not want to risk being attacked for my opinion, but also because I cannot use the phrase without actually singing the 1970s disco jam.
However, I feel that this is a worthwhile discussion that is of particular significance to students, especially those of us approaching that point in our lives where society expects us to be thinking about or pursuing serious relationships. In keeping with the theme of Ian Joyce and Brett Milam’s essays, I will attempt to rock said boat by bringing yet another perspective to this discussion on the role of women in relationships.
That is, a woman’s perspective.
Not to say that the two previous articles didn’t do an excellent job of speaking on behalf of women. Ian was spot on in his observation that while girls want to be with guys who see them as more than a body, we often sell ourselves short. And Brett was right to point out that women are not meant to cater to their husband’s every demand; it’s that mentality that can keep women in abusive relationships.
I find myself between these two positions, although I hesitate to say between because I think given the chance to express their thoughts more completely, we would find that their opinions coincide more than one would think. And I believe my perspective fits right in with theirs, although I’m sure it might seem strange at first glance:
I want to serve a man.
Before all of my female friends get the wrong impression, I’m not speaking about the stereotypical way that our culture often perceives serving. I’m not saying that I want to slave away cleaning and cooking, waiting on my husband hand and foot while he sits on the couch all day drinking beer.
But I am saying that I want to be a helpmate to my husband. That I want to keep up a nice home. That I want to find ways to save money. That I want to be his sounding board for when he has a problem at work. That I want to love him for his strengths and his faults. That I want to be faithful to him. That I want to encourage his dreams and his life aspirations.
Lets not forget, though, that I’m not the only one in this hypothetical relationship. If I’m going to serve my husband, he has to be worth serving. Just as I have expectations of myself, I have some expectations of him.
I want my husband to ask for my opinion and listen to what I have to say. I want him to be honest about what he’s thinking. I want him to be considerate of others. I want him to be passionate about what he does. I want him to love me unconditionally. I want him to keep his promises. I want him to encourage my passions and goals.
While I can’t speak for all women, I think it is safe to say that most girls who desire to be in a relationship are looking for something along these lines. So then why do many girls who want this type of love end up going uptown every weekend?
I would venture to say it’s because they’re searching for the good guys, the guys that show girls respect and have long-term relationship potential. And because a good man is hard to find, or so the cliché goes, girls are going wherever we can think to look for them, including clubs and bars.
I’m sure there are probably a handful of good guys ready to open a new Word document right now and begin writing responses along the lines of “Hey girls, we’ve been right here the whole time!” or “But I’m in the friend zone!” And if that is the case, then I’d challenge the boys to put down their computers, pick up their cell phones, and call that girl already. Because as long as guys remain passive and hesitant to pursue a relationship, girls are going to continue to try and get guys to notice them, even if it means wearing a shorter skirt.
So, the moral of the story?
Boys, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there for a girl. And girls, don’t be afraid to wait for one of the good guys (and while you’re waiting, a cute pair of jeans can be just as flattering as a miniskirt).