Opinion | Why you shouldn’t be proud to be hated: be kind, respectful
Published: Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Updated: Tuesday, September 25, 2012 01:09
Every now and again, we may come across words that are just so influential and inspirational to us that we decide to try and live by them. Maybe we stumble across them while scrolling down our Facebook newsfeed or see it reblogged with over 1,000 notes by someone we follow on Tumblr.
Thought provoking, inspiring words such as, “Haters gonna hate.”
What I don’t and will probably never understand is why people take pride in being hated, having “haters” or being openly called a b**** or d*** by not just a few but by many.
By taking a look at the “Thought Catalogue” article, “15 Ways 20-Somethings Ruin Their Twenties,” I was reaffirmed of this feeling. Author Christopher Hudspeth echoes my sentiments exactly, stating, “why being loathed (for good reason) has become a fad is beyond me, but it’s definitely a thing.”
There are many things about people and our society today that I may never understand. The staggering amount of influence pop culture has on it is one of them.
People should not be willing to have people openly hate them and to burn bridges, just because it is the “cool” thing to do. Let’s leave the popularity contests to the middle school kids.
Do people not comprehend that it’s better to be a nice person, than to constantly and consistently treat people badly? I genuinely believe that you become a better person and get farther in life by being kind and actually caring about people, rather than gathering an army of “haters.” Have you ever heard of the phrase “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” It’s kind of gross but too often true.
It is not a point of pride to be hated. It is simply a matter of looking towards and taking responsibility for how you decide to treat others.
While I personally lean toward being more cynical, skeptical towards people and have a very dark sense of humor, I never intentionally hurt people and have even made a promise to myself to not talk badly about others. I have learned that this gets you nowhere, and that trash talk and gossip will almost always get back to the person you are bad-mouthing.
Essentially, in the long run you are the only one hurting yourself.
I am a firm believer in being you. But when “being you” turns to directly insulting others, not taking other people’s beliefs and opinions into mind and being flat out rude and disrespectful to your peers, that is taking it a few steps too far.
Hard work and kindness are two traits that I strongly believe lead us to becoming better individuals.
I absolutely, 100 percent disagree with the popular saying that goes “good things come to those who wait.” Good things come to those who work for what they want and are dedicated to making it happen. Nothing good ever came to someone who sat around, waiting and wishing for something to happen.
And sometimes even then things don’t always work out. Only after you have put in the work and effort can you rest on the idea that maybe it was not “meant to be.”
But being rude and disrespectful because things didn’t work out how you may have wanted is not the right path. Suck it up, accept responsibility for your own actions and learn to drop it and move on.
When you are nice or kind to someone one time, you may or may not be remembered by them. If you are consistently a decent person and treat everyone with respect, you will most definitely be remembered.
And if you are malicious and rude then you will always be remembered – but for all the wrong reasons.
Always think twice about what you say and whom you are saying it to. Yes it is good to speak your mind and to have an opinion, and that we have the benefit of living in a country where we are allowed the freedom of speech.
But I always like to keep in mind that unless someone directly asks for my thoughts or opinion on a subject or if the matter desperately calls for my interjection, then I will keep my opinions to myself. I’ve also learned that typically people don’t like having other people’s thoughts, beliefs and opinions forced down their throats.
Still need words to live by, without resorting to being hated? Plato said, “Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle.”
Regardless of how big or small, we are all fighting some sort of fight, day after day. You never know what someone else may be going through and you never know what words could affect them.
For those who still seek to hate you, regardless of how polite, respectful or nice you may be – ignore them. They are not worth your time.
But don’t stoop down to their level and return the hate because nobody wants to be remembered as the witch with a b.