Oxford Diner terminated
I have accumulated several fond memories during my time at Miami University: soft-serve ice cream breakfasts at Harris Dining Hall, skipping Geology 121 to watch Rock of Love reruns and wearing the same pair of sweatpants four days in a row.
But none of these memories can compare to my discovery of the Oxford Diner, a quaint restaurant on U.S. Route 27, just southeast of Wal-Mart and just north of heaven. This little-known eatery is frequented by townies and students alike, with each customer attracted to the blue booths and spinning diner stools for his or her own reason.
But Nov. 1, Oxford Diner will be closing. Yes. Closing. That means it won't be there anymore. Ever.
This depresses me for multiple reasons. The Oxford Diner is freaking sweet, and not just because of the signed John Wayne cut-out, the multi-genre juke box, the Ohio landscape paintings or the Native American caricature creeping in the corner.
First reason Oxford Diner is freaking sweet: sketch level midnight.
This is my favorite part about the diner. If it did not have that element of down home sketchiness, the Oxford Diner would be a clone of Patterson's Café or Kona Bistro, and the last thing we need is another Kona Bistro.
Located in the same lot as the picturesque Sunoco gas station, a site you can only see on anything that isn't a postcard, the diner takes you out of a small college town and into a shady highway exit in Serial Killer-ville, America.
Yes, the Oxford Diner is a little sketchy, but it is not sketchy in a potentially illegal or dangerous way. It's sketchy in a definitely-going-to-make-an-appearance-in-my-life-movie way. To put it simply, the sketch level midnight of the Oxford Diner is freaking sweet because nowhere else can you find copious amounts of flannel and a mullet selection that would amaze MacGruber himself.
Second Reason Oxford Diner is freaking sweet: the staff.
The Oxford Diner's friendly staff views their customers as extended family - whether the customers ingest breakfast, lunch and dinner at the diner or they are first-timers simply stopping in for a cup of coffee.
The waiters' personable natures allow for easy conversation, and they don't give you a weird look when you order bacon, French fries and a chocolate milkshake with a plate of pickles on the side. Don't judge.
Third reason Oxford Diner is freaking sweet: the food.
As college students, our diets primarily consist of Ramen noodles and ketchup packets "borrowed" from the dining halls. It's nice to know there is a place in Oxford brimming with made-to-order, old-fashioned American food, prepared on-site and served with a smile.
The menu ranges from a biscuits and gravy breakfast to the one-gallon ice cream sundae treat, The Terminator. The diner's traditional offerings cater to a broad audience and are ideal for any situation.
Maybe you're looking to a great locale to score some sweet hangover food or maybe your parents are in town and they're sick of taking you to Bagel and Deli for the obligatory my-parents-are-in-town-and-they-want-to-buy-me-dinner dinner. In these instances and others, the Oxford Diner is a perfect solution.
Fourth Reason Oxford Diner is freaking sweet: one-of-a-kind.
The Oxford Diner's atmosphere, staff, food ... you won't find it anywhere else in Oxford.
There is no other place like the Oxford Diner. It isn't a chain restaurant. It isn't a typical college town eatery. It doesn't have a theme like "Asian" or "expensive." And they won't turn you away if you don't feel like wearing pants - bonus!
The Oxford Diner is like the Miss Congeniality of Oxford restaurants - it isn't pretty and doesn't look good in a swimsuit, but everyone loves it.
So, please, try and get out to the Oxford Diner one last time before Nov. 1. That way when Oxford Diner stars in its own Lifetime Movie Network special, you can say, "Hey, I went there once."
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