2008 Woodie Awards
A happiness facelift
A sophomore's realization to the finer things in life
Ann Koblenzer
Issue date: 2/29/08 Section: OpEd Page
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I used to think the way to find happiness in life was being able to say, "I would not change anything in my life, even if I could." I honestly believed that I had to be satisfied with every aspect of who I am and the direction my life was headed in order to be one of those put-together people.
You know who I'm talking about-those girls who look cute for their 8 a.m. class. Those who construct perfectly eloquent answers to that question that puts blank stares on the rest of the class. I thought if I had every aspect of my life put together, I would be instantly happy. If I found the right friends, the perfect sorority, a respected major, a great job, classic style and the necessary boyfriend, I could say I was truly happy.
Well, I'll go right ahead and say it. I will never be the girl who looks perfect at 8 a.m. I'm the girl who comes in late with X's on her hands from the night before. I'm the girl wearing glasses because I passed out in my contacts. I'm the girl in sweats because putting on jeans was too much of an effort. Despite not knowing where I want to be in five years and not having that perfect boyfriend, I can look anyone in the eye and say I love my life. You know what? I'm happy.
All this came from the realization that I needed to embrace change and not pretend as though I felt a certain way when I didn't. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I wasn't being honest with myself about my happiness. I was pretending to be put together. As a result, I fell apart even more.
It took finding the confidence and self-assurance to admit to myself the truths about my relationships, my major and my friends to find this happiness I was pretending to have. I admitted I was still hung-up on an extremely emotional end to a three-and-a-half year relationship. I stopped questioning whether I was smart enough to handle the major I really wanted. I acknowledged that I was overwhelmed by all the unanswered questions in my life. Once I accepted these things, I was able to embrace the questions and live for the unknown.
I accepted that break-ups suck and falling out of love is painful. There is a lot of lying and confusion. People say horrible things, play games, and in my case, see how hurting the other only works until they themselves get hurt worse.
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