2008 Woodie Awards
Tour guide feels true 'love and honor' for Miami
Elizabeth Miller
Issue date: 11/9/07 Section: OpEd Page
I claim to have the best job on campus. As a Miami University tour guide, I essentially get paid to talk. And walk backwards. I can tell you random facts that no one should ever need to know about Miami University (such as there being 9,000 trees on campus) and I've mastered the art of telling parent-friendly jokes. I've learned how to tactfully answer questions like, "Why does everyone look the same?" and "What exactly is Green Beer Day?" and "Do Miami girls just come for their M.R.S. degree?" I've learned how to fill 90 minutes with incessant talking and I've learned how to command the attention of a large group who would rather just take a driving tour. But aside from the lessons I've learned from this job, I have most benefited from the daily reminder of why I chose to be a Miamian. Even the simplest task of walking a group around my campus lets me relive my favorite memories and highlight my favorite parts about my school.
I begin by taking my tour groups up Campus Avenue from the CAB toward King Library. I apologize in advance for the witty, yet sometimes inappropriate, house signs that we pass on the way. Usually the parents get a chuckle out of "The Stagger Inn" as they recall their own hazy college days. And it's at about this point I pray that they don't ask what the house name "Mustache Ride" means. It happens.
I take them through King Café and explain how majority of my meal plan is spent on overpriced Starbucks drinks.
I take them by the Miami Seal in Academic quad and tell the superstition that if you step on the Seal you will fail your next exam. I tell them I've personally never stepped on the Seal and that students are very respectful of this legend, taking great strides to walk around it. It's usually right when I'm saying this that some student walks strait across our beloved Seal-generally just to spite us tour guides.
My favorite part of the tour comes at the Upham Arch. Most people have one of two reactions to the whole kiss-under-the-arch-and-live-happily-ever-after story. You either love the romance of it, or it makes you want to throw up. I confess that I'm a hopeless romantic and I love the Upham Arch. I love to boast our nearly 17 percent Miami Merger rate, compared to the 3 percent national average of students getting married out of the same college.
I begin by taking my tour groups up Campus Avenue from the CAB toward King Library. I apologize in advance for the witty, yet sometimes inappropriate, house signs that we pass on the way. Usually the parents get a chuckle out of "The Stagger Inn" as they recall their own hazy college days. And it's at about this point I pray that they don't ask what the house name "Mustache Ride" means. It happens.
I take them through King Café and explain how majority of my meal plan is spent on overpriced Starbucks drinks.
I take them by the Miami Seal in Academic quad and tell the superstition that if you step on the Seal you will fail your next exam. I tell them I've personally never stepped on the Seal and that students are very respectful of this legend, taking great strides to walk around it. It's usually right when I'm saying this that some student walks strait across our beloved Seal-generally just to spite us tour guides.
My favorite part of the tour comes at the Upham Arch. Most people have one of two reactions to the whole kiss-under-the-arch-and-live-happily-ever-after story. You either love the romance of it, or it makes you want to throw up. I confess that I'm a hopeless romantic and I love the Upham Arch. I love to boast our nearly 17 percent Miami Merger rate, compared to the 3 percent national average of students getting married out of the same college.
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