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PERSPECTIVE: Living life to the fullest

A new semester brings new opportunities

By Jenna Sauber

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Published: Thursday, January 12, 2006

Updated: Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's a new year and a new semester. Is it a new me? Or just going back to an old me that I haven't seen in awhile? I of course made the same ol' resolutions that you did: work out everyday, party less, study more. And I'm doing them, all of them. (Wanna make a bet?)

I'm also doing something else - I'm not going to care as much. I'm really not, because I have let worry and stress and what other people think get to me entirely too much in these last few months. I have worried about getting that prime internship so much that it might as well give me hives.

I've agonized over if I'm doing the right thing, saying the right thing and if I'm doing enough. I've questioned my motives and taken back things I probably shouldn't have said. And I'm through with it. I'm done doing things for other people and being indispensable. I'm going to be what I always have been - independent.

Over break I read about five books and did some grandmotherly sewing on a quilt I've been working on for about 10 years. I ate out at really good (and bad) restaurants and I watched enough Law & Order to make Dick Wolf a very rich man. I saw some excellent movies, bought a lot of clothes and had some great talks with my parents (cheesy, but enlightening). Basically, I remembered what it was like to be a kid and to do what I want, when I want. I'm not saying that I don't do this at school.

I still go to '80s night when I have a test the next day and I still eat Tower Tornados even if I went on a diet the day before. The point is I'm not going to care if I do these things. I'm going to have fun and enjoy college for what it is.

So what if I have to get a fake job this summer? I'll probably get a discount, which makes up for it. So what if I don't have anyone to hang out with on a Friday night? I'll just watch ESPN classic and pretend John Saunders and I are tight, or better yet, Lenny from Law & Order (I miss you).

This is the time for us to be selfish. It's the time to say no to one person and yes to someone else. It's the time to make plans and then break them and to make them with someone else. It's the time to stay up all night talking online to someone you met a week ago instead of reading political science, and it's the time to say no I won't drive you to Wal-Mart because I have a freakin' paper to write.

I think so many of us are worried about getting the grades, getting the job, and getting the girl (in my case, a boy) RIGHT NOW. We make the appointments with the professors and join the committees and go on the dates because we're afraid that if we don't, we won't be prepared for the real world. We're afraid that if we take a little time to ourselves, to re-energize and to relax, that we'll fail.

We're afraid that if we say what we're really feeling we'll hurt someone. We're afraid of what others will think and worse, what they'll say to others. We're afraid that someone else will get the position, that someone else will get the kiss goodnight and that we'll be left out of the loop.

The thing is, there is time for all of this. I have one and a half years left of college and plenty of time to think about paying bills, being friends with the boss and if it's going to be your place or mine tonight.

If I want to go out on a school night I will. And if I want to be boring and go to bed early, I will do that, too. And I'm not telling anyone about it, and I'm not putting it on my away message for everyone to see.

Maybe all of this is easy for me because I'm an only child and used to being alone and fending for myself. But I think all of us have that little bit of desire to just let go. To let the phone ring, to turn off AIM and to not answer the door. We all want to disappear for a day and not have to worry about reporting back to anyone, no matter who it is.

We want to come home from a long day and eat chips and salsa and watch stuff like Oprah or C-SPAN and not give a damn about anyone else. And then, when we're finally ready, we call our best friend to go for a drive or grab the neighbor down the hall for a drink and a laugh.

It's a new year and a new semester. It's time for a new me.

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