The New York Times published an article Wednesday criticizing a decision made by the Governor David A. Paterson of New York. The subject of intense scrutiny after a negative review from President Obama, it is not surprising to find an article of this nature. The oddity lies in the amusing simplicity of the decision in review: to shave his mustache. After parting with his beard only weeks before, Paterson officially entered the world of clean-shaven men, doing so with faith the move would change the face of a failing campaign, literally. The article cleverly compares the "trim" to a similar move he is making on New York's state budget. Questioning how a lack of a mustache will affect his role as a politician is as charming as it is puzzling: why the obsession?
Mustaches are simple. There is only one thing necessary to achieve a delightfully hairy upper lip: will power. Since the beginning of time, men have been putting away their razors and letting a small rectangle of stubble run free. The beauty of a full-grown, well-executed mustache is undeniable, but the ability for one tiny attribute to drastically alter a person's physical appearance is baffling. If you have ever seen someone go from stache to shave, you know. Besides that glorious prepubescent day when the braces come off and the pearly whites are restored, shaving a mustache is the single biggest alteration you can make to your appearance immediately.
Chuck Norris to Brad Pitt, Ringo Starr to Jimi Hendrix, men everywhere are eager to flaunt a physical feature that is exclusively theirs. They wear mustaches to show masculinity, to prove themselves fearless, to bask in the inevitable attention that results. Men do it for these reasons, yes, but ask the next mustached one you can find and his reason will likely be closer to this: because he can. There is something oddly fulfilling about a mustache, and it is as simple as that. I learned this after having the pleasure of attending a "stache bash" several weeks ago. Complete with mustaches of all shapes and sizes, ranging from the handlebar to the Fu Manchu, I asked several wearers to explain why they chose to do it. Senior finance major Matt McGarry summed it up in three words, "Mustaches are awesome."
And awesome they are. That at one point they could be found on all four faces of the Beatles says it all - they are emblematic. Groups like the American Mustache Institute are working hard to make sure they stay that way. With a hilarious Web site and an eloquent mission, the AMI exists to preserve an "acceptance of lip sweaters." Going as far as to offer a "Robert Goulet Mustached American of the Year" award (still accepting nominations) they ensure that the soft spot for the stache remains.
In fairness, it cannot be claimed that mustaches are universally loved. Most likely stemming from a misuse of the mustache by people like Hitler, this feeling is not unusual. A large concentration of this hatred can be found in the wives of middle class America. Refusing to let their husbands exercise a God-given right, wives take the power out of the mustache and into their own hands. One can't help but wonder if it was a spousal intervention in the case of Paterson. When the Obama administration bluntly told her husband he should not run for governor in 2010, Michelle Paterson could have suggested he lose the cookie duster and declare himself a new man. And who can blame her? Governor Paterson may have gained some new fans from his decision to shave, but with the amount of mustache-lovers in the world, he most certainly lost some as well.
Abigail Haglage haglagag@muohio.edu
