Wow, October is over. Sorry, kids, that means the costumes go under the bed, the leftover candy becomes breakfast for the week and hopefully Saw VI gets replaced by something infinitely better at the Princess. That also means the end of pumpkin-picking, haunted houses and the endless ghost show marathons on the Discovery Channel. But before you sink too deeply into the November blues, take solace in my belated Halloween rundown of the tricks, treats and downright spooky activities going on in Washington (and the rest of the world).
The Nightmare on Capitol Street, also known as the national health care legislation process. The United States House of Representatives finally released its health care bill, which is a conglomerated mess tallying more than 400,000 words. I am totally sympathetic to the legislators' goal of taking care of details. However, the idea of Republicans and Democrats agreeing on 1,900 pages and a $900 billion budget is terrifying, and I can promise you that more than a handful won't even understand the entirety of the bill, if they even attempt to read it at all. Were you ever forced to wing a topic in class that you hadn't researched? Now imagine 535 pompous politicians doing that, while the fate of the American health care system lies in the balance. Scared yet? I am.
The Iran nuclear crisis, which has become a chilling standoff on the international stage. After President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad proclaimed Iran was "ready to cooperate" with the major Western nations, Iran backed out of an agreement that involved the country shipping out three-quarters of its enriched uranium. Now, the United States will be forced to deal with an increasingly nuclear-ready Iran, and we have no idea whether sanctions will be effective. Talk about getting a trick when you were expecting a treat.
Dick Cheney is the United States' most prominent zombie. George W. Bush has taken the high road after his presidency, keeping a low profile in Texas. However, Cheney keeps coming back from the remains of his time as vice president to inflict doom on the current administration. Presently, he is struggling in a public scandal involving the release of a CIA agent's identity to the press. It doesn't help that some believe this was Cheney's revenge against the agent's husband for opposing the war in Iraq. But even after this is resolved, don't expect Cheney to be out of the news. In true undead fashion, he will likely reappear, more bloodthirsty than ever.
However, if you're worried Halloween in Washington was all scares and no fun, Barack Obama did give us two excellent treats. The first was the new presidential memo advising federal agents to not target users of medical marijuana. This not only allows prosecutors to allocate their efforts to more worthwhile cases, but it also represents the government's belief in the merit of marijuana to treat patients' chronic pain and nausea. I'm not suggesting that fun-size joints be handed out to trick-or-treaters next year, but I am happy Obama recognizes, with proper monitoring, marijuana can be a useful tool.
The second Halloween treat: Obama's elimination of the AIDS/HIV travel ban. For the past 22 years, foreigners with the HIV virus were not allowed to enter the United States. The reversal of this policy, which began during the Bush administration, is a momentous step in removing the stigma surrounding AIDS. Now, many immigrant families will be able to stay together and there can be a greater drive toward HIV testing and treatment.
Unfortunately, this ends my ghoulish roundup of Halloween, political-style. But even though it will be another 11 months until the pumpkins go on sale again at Kroger, don't let the end of October get you down - luckily, Washington gives us enough freaky fun to last the whole year. (And somewhere, Dick Cheney is laughing sinisterly.) See you next Halloween!
