It's a college student's paradise. Thirty juicy, mouth-watering sandwiches for only $13.99. Their rich flavor and texture have amazed and inspired generations of college students. I'm talking about a place that is a haven for late night munchies runs. I'm talking about a place where a man can truly get that feeling of getting what he wants. Oh yes, I'm talking about White Castle. I guess I should first explain the spectacle that is White Castle. It is a crappy little third-rate fast food franchise that has actually been in existence longer than McDonald's. I personally was unaware that it was still in business until coming down to school last year. If the fast food industry was structured like a food chain, White Castle would probably be like the second cousin to the Dodos; it refuses to stop kickin'. Anyway, White Castle became famous for their "Slyder" specials and innovative five holes that are cut into each and every little hamburger patty. The unique brand of Americana has attracted many an unsuspecting customer to its drive-thru window. Oh yes, I was that person. Now you may be thinking, "Oh well this is just another rant about some guy's favorite fast food joint." No, no this is not just a rant because White Castle is not just a "fast food joint" brother; it is way more than that. It is an experience of delectable proportions, because once you bite into that first slyder, you'll feel the sensation. As the warm, soft bun melts in your mouth, you will savor the richness of the flavor of which those flavor crystals in the burger are meant to provide. You will not need some special sauce or grilling technique to satisfy your craving because you can only be really completed with a whole crave case of those tasty little burgers sitting in your stomach. The sensation of satisfaction will overcome you, assuming that you are making the voyage to burger paradise after about 1 a.m. or so. Now, I cannot lie. I did not fully realize the aura of what is known as "The Castle" until I stepped foot on campus. I was sitting around one day with some friends when one of them barged in with the crave case; I was naive to the ways of such wise men. "Bolus, guess what?" "What?" "First day of class, you know what that means? I"m going to carry my books in a White Castle crave case - I just scraped the onion remnants off the box." "Oh man - that idea is so good, it should have been mine! I need to take a picture of this." My friends tried explaining the phenomena to me, but I guess I just didn't quite understand. It's like trying to explain how it was perfectly acceptable for your uncle Bob to play "Ballistic Missile" at your sister's wedding reception. You just have to experience it I guess. I still was lost though. Don't get me wrong, thirty hamburgers in a case is pretty zany. But to obsess over little onion-filled sandwiches? Gimme a break. Oh, was I unaware. Fast forward to this summer. A splendid little film named Harold and Kumar makes it to a few theaters. It does alright at the box office, I guess. That's really not the point anyway. I was coerced into shelling out four bones on white trash Tuesday in order to view this cinematic masterpiece. I don't really remember what the plot was about. To be honest, I don't think there was a real plot other than the dudes making it to White Castle. Again, it doesn't matter. Details are of little importance in homage to the tastiness of these little burgers. Anyway, the journey of Harold and Kumar is one to which all ages can relate. Their heroic efforts are comparable to Daniel's mêlée with Cobra Kai in the first Karate Kid. Harold and Kumar too were on a journey that forced them to mature as men; or at least grow a little bit. Also, Harold and Kumar were very, very hungry. But these men knew what they wanted, because only one place could really satisfy their needs. They wanted their burger bag to be able to double as a briefcase. They wanted to be able to remember their meal long after the fact. They wanted satisfaction. I think you know what to do now.







